The Winter of Uwe Boll
Pigs are flying. Hell is freezing over. Yes, Uwe Boll has risen from the ashes and will be gracing us with not one, not even two, but three disasters within one month of each other. Yes, can you believe it? Can you believe that he still gets work? Can you believe that distributors still believe in his movies? Can you believe that anyone actually goes watches his garbage?
On January 11, 2008, we get In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, a Jason Statham-starring film. Hell, even if Uwe Boll wasn’t directing the movie, I can tell from the title that it’s going to suck.
On January 25, 2008, we get Seed, also from Freestyle Releasing.
And on February 1, 2008, Postal, based on the video game, comes to theaters from – you guessed it – Freestyle Releasing.
What is Freestyle thinking? Are they just trying to dump these all at once so they don’t have to worry about Boll anymore? Somehow, I’m guessing they have more sinister plans in mind. I’m pretty sure that the soul of Adolf Hitler himself – if he had a soul – has returned and inhabited the body of the President of Freestyle Releasing. What other explanation could it be?
I would not be surprised if these releases turn into limited releases, or get pushed back, but it’s pretty shocking to see that three movies from the same director are coming out within a month of one another, let along from Uwe Boll, who is regarded by many as the worst director ever.
Boo, Freestyle Releasing! Boo!