Somehow, despite stints in a mental facility, her “ownership” being transferred to her father, an odd British accent, a bitter custodial battle and more, Britney Spears has managed to release a new music video. This music video is animated, and features Britney Spears as a superhero who fights bad guys, flies through the air and more. Too bad the music video sucks.
Don’t get me wrong: I have nothing against Britney Spears. I love comebacks, and I hope she gets to do one of those one of these days. At first, her self destructive behavior was a bit entertaining, but once we found out she has some more serious issues, it became more troubling than anything else. I think even the biggest Spears haters are hoping that she stops makes a fool for herself and at least lands on even footing, though feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.
Regardless, this new Britney Spears music video, called “Break the Ice,” does not spell comeback in any way or form. Here are five reasons why:
- The song is terrible. Like most Britney Spears songs, the techno mix is over-the-top, cheesy and manufactured. If her real voice is in there somewhere, it’s hard to tell. The song sounds like countless other forgettable pop songs before it, and doesn’t have the quality to be a big radio hit or the beat to succeed at dance clubs. Unfortunately, the song sounds like a Britney Spears song, which means it might have been successful five years ago.
- The music video has nothing to do with the song. If the lyrics have something to do with what’s happening visually, I didn’t pick up on it. The song begins and the music video begins, but rarely do the two seem synced or even related. The video doesn’t feature a singing superhero, and when it does show Britney’s lips, they don’t match up to the words we’re hearing. It seems as though the animators were told to make a three-minute superhero cartoon, but were never given the song to work off.
- The animation isn’t very good. Aside from the fact that the music video has nothing to do with the Britney Spears song, the animation isn’t intriguing enough to make us watch for watching’s sake. Had everything matched up, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal, but as is, it seems as though this music video needed to look really, really cool and really edgy to overcome its deficiencies, but alas, that is not the case. The animation is basic at best, and not worth even a minute of your time.
- Britney Spears isn’t in the music video. I’ve never liked Britney Spears’ songs. Over the course of her up-and-down history, there are probably two or three songs that I’ve tolerated enough to listen to. However, that hasn’t stopped me from looking at her. Even now, after everything, she’s pretty good looking, and the only reason I’d even consider watching her old music videos were to see her strutting her stuff in some sexy outfit. Unfortunately, this “Break the Ice” video does not show even a second of the real Britney Spears, which begs the question: “What’s the point?”