I Scream for Scream 4: An Enlightening DVD Review
The word “enlightening” is used loosely. In fact, there isn’t anything enlightening about this review. It is, after all, a DVD review. The lowest of all reviews. Poor little DVD review, so cute and utterly pointless.
But you’re reading it, so you must disagree with me.
Thanks for getting me on track. Scream 4 is on DVD, and if its box office numbers are any indication, it’s going to do great business going forward. Why? Because no one watched it in theaters. Well, I did, but I’m a true Scream fan, not like all you posers who went to the first three but refused to watch the fourth just because the third one was, while a perfectly adequate horror movie, noticeably not as good as the first two.
Scream 4 reunites the original cast, including Neve Campbell, Courtney Cox and unfortunately David Arquette, while injecting fresh blood into the franchise with a new litter of cute blood sacks that burst upon being stabbed. Chief among the new blood sacks is Emma Roberts, who also by coincidence gets my blood boiling. Damn her for being rich and famous while I’m just some sad online critic writing about her in a creepy old man way.
Other than Deputy Dewey’s scenes, which are downright terrible, Scream 4 is a legitimately decent entry in the franchise, complete with some twists, a few turns and lots of bloody murders. Even though it doesn’t top the original – Einstein once did research and determined that it’s physically impossible to do that anyway – Scream 4 is a fun, nostalgic ride that works more often than not. The ending is also pretty good, a nice change of pace from the previous three.
But if you want to hear what I thought about the movie, you can bugger off and read my Scream 4 movie review.
The Scream 4 DVD is, sadly, lackluster. Bad for people who like bonus features, good for reviewers who hate watching hours of bonus features just to review them. The movie comes with an audio commentary with Wes Craven, Emma Roberts, Hayden Panettiere and Neve Campbell. Lucky bastard. It also comes with some deleted and extended scenes, an alternate opening that I’ve already forgotten and an extended ending that isn’t as good. There’s also the obligatory “making of Scream 4” featurette.
On the positive side, there’s a gag reel, which makes me thankful my job does not involve working on a set where people dressed in black cloaks and holding knives can and will hop out of every dark corner just for the hell of it.
Well, there you go. I hope you found this Scream 4 DVD review as entertaining as I found the DVD disappointing. Regardless, you should at least watch the movie. It’s worth watching.
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