The 13 Lamest Movie Characters of 2013
Good movies, bad movies, everything in between. It doesn’t matter. Every single one has characters, and some characters are just better written than others. Some are terrific and will stand the test of time. Others are just a downright waste of screen time.
Here are the 13 lamest movie characters of 2013, characters that contributed so little to the overall benefit of their respective film – or worse, they were directly responsible for ruining it – that they would have been best left on the cutting room floor, or in the writer’s head.
13. Jane Foster in Thor: The Dark World
Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Jane Foster (Natalie Portman) is supposed to be all smart and shit, but in the Thor sequel, she really does nothing even remotely intelligent. Instead, for plot purposes, she simply happens to be in London when, conveniently, a wormhole opens up. Then, when she gets sucked through said wormhole, she does what no halfway intelligent person would do and sticks her hand inside the giant glowing rock, causing her to get possessed by the vapor form of the black oil from "The X-Files." She then spends the rest of the movie looking pretty, except for when she uses some little metallic sticks that are never explained to do something that no one cares about.
Thanks, Jane Foster.
12. Every Character in Pacific Rim
Pacific Rim is about giant robots battling giant alien monsters. That may be enough to appease some people, but for the rest of us, the array of bland, stupid or downright annoying characters Guillermo del Toro serves up is inexcusable.
Partners and possible lovebirds Raleigh (Charlie Hunnam) and Mako (Rinko Kikuchi) have nearly zero chemistry with one another, but they are the least of the film’s worries. Other characters include the requisite asshole who hates Raleigh for no reason, two of the most annoying doctors ever to grace the silver screen (led by Charlie Day) and stereotypical Russians.
Also, why don’t they use the swords earlier???
11. The Lone Ranger in The Lone Ranger
Though the sample pool is small, Armie Hammer has a knack for finding big roles in potentially big movies that suck. Following his success in The Social Network, he played the gay lover in the supposed-to-be-great-but-not J. Edgar, the prince in the putrid Mirror Mirror and the title character in the blockbuster flop The Lone Ranger.
Hammer’s Lone Ranger is boring, bland and fairly useless. Sort of like the movie itself.
10. Most of the people in You’re Next
Sharni Vinson plays protagonist Erin in You’re Next, and she kicks ass. Everyone else… not so much. Whether it’s due to bad writing or bad acting or more than likely some glorious amalgam of the two, the rest of the cast/characters in the horror-comedy serve as the worst kind of horror cliches. The acting is so bad in the first half of the movie, it’s a complete relief when just about every single person is slaughtered in the second half.