Horror Movies

When a movie costs less than $5 million to make and earns over $100 million domestically, you know it’s getting a[nother] sequel. The Paranormal Activity franchise returns with Paranormal Activity 4, another found footage horror movie that focuses on a cute blond teenage girl who likes to videotape herself, and who has the misfortune to live next to neighbors who may or may not be the freaky demon-possessed chick from the previous films.

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To some people summer is about vacations, maybe hitting the lake or pool, relaxing, spending time with the kids – and there is that. But summer to me also means it’s time to look forward to the annual family reunion. Big family or small, summer seems to be the best time to gather the clan, catch up, enjoy some good food, take a lot of pictures and generally have a good time.

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The scariest horror movie is the one that stars A-list talent. It is almost guaranteed that it will be self deluded into thinking it’s a horror movie worth seeing, and there’s nothing more frightening than a horror movie in denial.

Read FilmJabber’s full Intruders movie review.

I’m an atheist, yet I’ve always found exorcism movies scary. Maybe that’s because if the Devil did exist, I would have no defense. Regardless, I’ve always had an affinity for stories about people possessed by demons, even though every single one follows the exact same formula. Despite staying true to script, The Devil Inside is one of the worst movies I’ve seen since last year’s Apollo 18.

Read FilmJabber’s full The Devil Inside movie review.

There is a real shortage of shark attack movies available. I can’t think of a single shark attack movie that is worth seeing, let alone that made any real money at the box office. You would have thought that at some point in the history of cinema some filmmaker, a Scorsese or a Spielberg, would have made something that worked, something that could never be topped. Thank God that Hollywood keeps trying. Enter Shark Night.

Read FilmJabber’s full Shark Night movie review.

Tim Burton. Johnny Depp. Together again. Woopty-fucking-doo.

Dark Shadows is a big screen adaptation of a television show that apparently was popular decades before I was born, and is about a rich young man named Barnabas Collins who is cursed by his evil witch mistress Angelique to forever being a vampire. She then locks him in a coffin for 200 years. He is released in the 1970′s, where he discovers that his family’s estate is in ruins, his odd family is odd and that Angelique is still alive and kicking, and also the business competition.

Read our full Dark Shadows movie review.

The last time I saw Kate Beckinsale in skintight black leather was… in my dreams… but before that, it was in Underworld: Evolution, the second film in the stylized franchise about vampires, werewolves and soft core porn. After merely a cameo appearance in the third, nearly series-slaying Underworld: Rise of the Lycans, Beckinsale, having not been in a better movie since, is back as Selene, and everything else is back to the way they were.

Read FilmJabber’s full Underworld Awakening movie review.

Can you believe that summer is already here? We can’t! We’ve compiled a list of the best movies coming out this summer, based on buzz, trailers, promotion and pure gut instinct. Just keep in mind, if you do end up seeing all 23 movies on this list, you’ll have spent upwards of $230 at at the box office. Yikes!

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From the director of The House of the Devil comes another horror movie that feels like it’s ripped from another era, and like The House of the Devil, The Innkeepers doesn’t deliver a complete package. Scary only in brief moments and obnoxious more than gripping, The Innkeepers is a dud of a horror flick, a waste of time.

Read FilmJabber’s full The Innkeepers movie review.

Five horny college students go to a cabin in the woods. You know what happens next. Or not. A perfect example of don’t judge a book by its cover, or a movie by its trailer, The Cabin in the Woods is one of the most entertaining, strange, absurdly awesome horror movies to hit theaters in the history of cinema. It has its scares, but it’s also hilarious, and most importantly, it is completely unpredictable in all the right ways.

Read FilmJabber’s full The Cabin in the Woods movie review.

There’s nothing scarier than a horror movie starring big-name actors, because more often than not they completely miss the mark. Dream House is no exception, with Daniel Craig, Naomi Watts and Rachel Weisz delivering some major star power, but the production itself giving nothing back to the poor bastards who paid money to watch this less-than-dreamy movie.

Read FilmJabber’s full Dream House movie review.

In addition to the new movie trailer that was released last week, we’ve added several new stills from the upcoming horror movie Cabin in the Woods, which looks like your ordinary stupid-young-sexy-and-horny-kids-go-to-a-cabin-in-the-woods-and-get-slaughtered-one-by-one slasher film until it doesn’t. After all, the kids have been baited into a virtual world where men unseen control everything that happens.

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