Miscellaneous

Yes, this is a true news story. My friend Cassandra sent me this Yahoo! article about a woman who decided to sit on a toilet for two years. For these two years, her skin continued to grow to the point where her butt became physically glued to the seat and her legs “atrophied”.

The 35-year old woman from Ness City, Kansas decided one day that she didn’t want to leave her bathroom, so for some reason her boyfriend decided he’d bring her food and water every day. According to him, he’d ask her to come out every day, but she always refused. Is she mentally ill or disabled? That’s yet to be determined. Did her boyfriend keep her there? Police are considering pressing charges, but as Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple says, “She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body.  It is hard to imagine. … I still have a hard time imagining it myself.”

The woman’s skin had grown around the toilet seat. “We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital,” Whipple said. “The hospital removed it.”

This is just a really weird case. I can’t even imagine sitting in one place for two years. Even the most mentally disabled person capable of moving their own body would become fidgety after a short while, let alone a span of years. How could you sit there for years and let a toilet seat grow around your ass? And why would the boyfriend not call anyone sooner? I just don’t get it.

I was forwarded this article from The Huffington Post in hopes that I would use it to promote the Jason Staitham The Bank Job, which is now playing in theaters. That’s fine – I get requests to market movies all the time, and The Bank Job was the best reviewed film of last weekend.

But here’s the catch. This article, which is actually a blog post written by Logan Nakyanzi Pollard, is about Eliot Spitzer, the governor of New York who just resigned today following the accusations (which sound 100% true) that he repeatedly paid upwards of $5,000 at a time to have sex with call girls. The latest report is that Spitzer spent $80,000 over a period of time for these prostitutes, presumably paying that much to maintain confidentiality (why else would you spend $5,000 on a single prostitute?).

How does this relate to The Bank Job, a slick, fast-paced heist film? The plot of The Bank Job is about a group of robbers who break into a bank to steal photos of important people having sex with prostitutes – the intent being that they can blackmail these important people for more money. I haven’t seen the movie, so if that summary isn’t completely true than forgive me, but that’s the gist of the movie.

Now, the fact that those responsible for marketing The Bank Job is using this Huffington Post blog post to market their film is raising some eyebrows. There’s been some negative reaction to this marketing approach, but I have to say I’m rather impressed. As an Internet Marketing person myself, I think it’s only fair that they try to market this film anyway they can, especially if they can play off the biggest story of the week. Those who call this tactic “disgusting” should ask themselves: “Who does this hurt?”

• Does marketing The Bank Job in relations to Eliot Spitzer hurt the movie? How can it?
• Does it hurt Eliot Spitzer? I think he has bigger fish to fry.
• Will it help a movie that has received good reviews but not much audience attention get a few more box office dollars? Yes. I’ve already seen the movie mentioned in a non-marketing way in relation to the Spitzer story.

So, to me, it seems like this marketing tactic helps the movie and doesn’t hurt Spitzer. Is there an ethical element to it, regardless of whether it actually hurts anyone? Perhaps. But is it really unethical to try to capitalize on national headlines to market your product? In fact, I think it would be bad if a marketing person didn’t try to take advantage of headlines. Controversy rarely hurts the movie industry, and so the marketing team should always be looking at ways to get free press.

Whether the tie-in between The Bank Job and the Eliot Spitzer story takes off is any man’s guess, but I’ve started the discussion here; I’d like to see other marketing blogs and movie blogs take it up and provide their opinions.

I am a supporter of Barack Obama; I think Hillary Clinton may be a better President, but Obama has a few things going for him. He is more electable. Clinton divides, whereas Obama bridges the gap. This is both good for winning against McCain, and for the nation in general. That being said, Clinton just found a way to get her message to spread virally on the Internet; I have to imagine this political ad is going to wind up all over the place…

The Jack Nicholson political ad, which has Nicholson supporting Hillary Clinton, takes blurbs from some of his most memorable roles and twist them into support for what Clinton. The Joker, the guy from The Shining, and several other Nicholson characters are shown off and on with political messages intertwined. It’s a clever ad, though I have to question whether it’s smart to have Nicholson’s most psychotic characters voting for Clinton. After all, does it mean you have to be crazy to throw your support behind here?

Watch for yourself, and let me know what you think:

If you haven’t seen this video clip from The Moment of Truth, you have to watch it now. I’d never watched the show before and don’t plan to watch it in the future, but while driving to work today, I heard Jackie and Bender talking about it on KISS. So, first thing I did when I got to work was to look this puppy up on YouTube, and I must say it is one of the most painful things you’ll ever watch.

Basically, it’s about this young woman who’s in the hot seat, who gets confronted by her ex-boyfriend with the question: “If I were to ask you to get back together with me, would you leave your husband?” Her husband is sitting on stage at the time. That question is followed up by EVEN MORE PAINFUL questions.

Needless to say, The Moment of Truth certainly caught my attention. It’s sad that I find this entertaining, but she had to know what she was getting herself into:

If you missed it, watch this funny video of Gary Busey kissing Jennifer Garner on the neck and “making her nervous” on the red carpet at the Oscars. Busey continues to play into his stereotype that he’s a bit off his rocker – Laura Linney actually pulls Garner away like friends do at a bar when a sleazy guy is hitting on them. Of course, see for yourself:

I watched this video while at work today… the dumbest people make for the greatest entertainment, don’t they? The video is real security footage of a wannabe burglar trying to break in to a coffee shop in Lakewood, WA… the problem is that this persistent burglar is an idiot. Instead of breaking in to the coffee shop, the man proceeds to circle the building several times trying to get in through doors, windows and probably the walls. Oh, did I mention he wasn’t wearing gloves and manages to place not only his fingerprints but whole hand prints all over the place?

To cap things off, his final attempt to break in includes a running kick, which causes him to dislocate his knee.

Watch this funny burglar, dubbed the Captain Jack Sparrow burglar due to his pirate motif, which has a great voice over by the coffee shop’s sarcastic owner. You can also read the full story at King 5 News.

Don’t piss this referee off. Hell, you better be on your best behavior.

According to Reuters, a soccer referee in Malaysia pulled a gun and fired it into the air after issuing a red flag to one of the players – a suspension that cause several unruly players to get even more unruly. After the man was “attacked” for the call, he ran to his car and grabbed his service revolver. After all, he’s also a cop.

Officials have arrested the referee on tentative charges of unlawful discharge of a weapon, and are also holding several of the players on possible rioting charges.

Not an incredible story, but certainly a funny one. After all, I always thought the red card was the most serious punishment you could receive in a soccer game. Malaysia decided to add a new tier.

I am so doing this when I die…

According to an AP article, Chet Fitch (not the random guy in the picture) is one awesome dude. Or he was, before he died in October at age 88. The old guy, known as a joker/prankster, decided to freak out some of his closest friends and family this Christmas by sending them Christmas cards from beyond the grave. This month, 34 cards were sent out, hand written by him with a return address of – you guessed it – “Heaven.”

The greeting read:

“I asked Big Guy if I could sneak back and send some cards. At first he said no; but at my insistence he finally said, ‘Oh well, what the heaven, go ahead but don’t terry there.’ Wish I could tell you about things here but words cannot explain.

“Better get back as Big Guy said he stretched a point to let me in the first time, so I had better not press my luck. I’ll probably be seeing you (some sooner than you think). Wishing you a very Merry Christmas. Chet Fitch”

Apparently, Fitch had been working on this prank for two decades with his barber, Patty Dean, who says he paid her whenever postage rates went up and continued to add to the mailing list as he saw fit. This fall, he told her: “You must be getting tired of waiting to mail those cards. I think you’ll probably be able to mail them this year.” He proceeded to die a week later.

I think this puts to rest the debate of whether it’s good to know about your death ahead of time. This is one of the coolest things I’ve ever heard.

It was a sad day on this lonely planet of ours. On Earth, there are approximately 6.6 billion human beings, and of those human beings, approximately half – 3.3 billion – are men. Of those men, let’s say 10% are gay, in comas or are too young or old to know the truth. That leaves three billion men who this morning found themselves breathless as their futures were so utterly destroyed.

Yes, Jessica Alba is pregnant. How dare she cheat on us with another man! How dare she receive seed that is not ours! How dare she expand her belly for her own satisfaction! Jessica, you have made this day a dark day, and we will forever remember. December 12th is J-Day, and “J” is not for Joy.

I’m a big fan of serialized shows, and in general not a big fan of sitcoms or reality shows. They can be entertaining even when they are complete crap, but I don’t like that guilt factor when watching a show. However, there are two reality shows I am big fans of, and they are two of the originals. They are both on CBS, and you may have heard of them: Survivor and The Amazing Race.

While some have said Survivor has grown old, the producers have really figured out a way to make the show unpredictable without being ridiculous, and it continues to work its magic. I look forward to this one quite a bit each week.

And then there’s The Amazing Race, a ridiculously addicting reality show that doesn’t rely (too much) on drama on talking to the camera. It’s a race around the world, and it’s a race produced by Jerry Bruckheimer. Every episode is exciting, and you get to see places you’d never ordinarily see.

Anyway, to the point of this article, CBS has renewed The Amazing Race for its 13th season. The show apparently struggled with its eleventh season, but now in an 8:00pm Sunday timeslot, it has been averaging 12 million viewers a week, more than enough to convince the channel to bring back its Emmy-winning reality show. Sweet!

I should have posted my prediction here so you all would believe me, but at IHOP this morning, I predicted to both my mother (who I was taking to thundering Qwest Field) and the IHOP host that the Seattle Seahawks would beat the second place Arizona Cardinals by a 20-point spread. Ambitious, maybe; optimistic, certainly, but given home field advantage, a need for revenge and the chance to clinch the division right here and now, I didn’t think it was unreasonable. My prediction came pretty close, as Seattle routed Arizona 42-21, a 21-point spread.

Kurt Warner didn’t look bad, other than the five interceptions he threw – a career high. He seemed to like Marcus Trufant as a receiver more than his own guys, as he lobbed easy passes to the Seattle defender all game long – including one that was returned for an 80-something yard touchdown, and another that killed the momentum gained when Arizona recovered an onside kick. Needless to say, even when the Cardinals got to 27-14, their closest point spread of the game, this Seahawks game was not that stressful. And that’s a good thing.

Had the Seahawks lost, the Cards would have had a tiebreaker over the Seahawks, they would have been only one game up on the Cards with a toucher schedule to go, and the Cards would get that tingly feeling thinking that they are actually better than the Seahawks. It’s cute to think they thought they would actually win the division… when I was down at the Grand Canyon in October, I remember reading a paper in Arizona that, understandably, was so excited and confident that this year was the Cardinal’s year. After all, they were playing well, on par with the Seahawks and so on and so forth. Again, it was just cute that they thought that success would carry through to the end.

Sorry Cardinals, but the Seahawks are NFC West Champions. Again.

One of the special features on the Lost: Season 3 DVD may not answer all of the questions of the mysterious show, but does it reveal a good chunk? If you click on the fourth screen you can actually click on, you’ll see an entry for “Orchid Instructional Video”, which has that Asian scientist guy preparing to shoot an instructional film. He’s getting makeup applied to reduce the shine, and is also holding a bunny rabbit.

However, the video is quickly disrupted – and by that I mean that the scientists begin to freak out – when a second bunny rabbit appears. What’s so strange or notable about these events are these:

• The bunny rabbit that the scientist is holding has a “15″ branded on its side. When the other bunny appears, it too has “15″ on its side.
• The scientist shouts in desperation, “Keep them away from each other!”
• The scientist then asks an assistance how far “the shift was set?” She responds, “Minus twenty.”

Um… so what the hell does this mean? Cloning? That would explain the “15″ on both bunnies. But “keep them away from each other”? Does that mean alternate realities? Time travel? This instructional video definitely raises some questions and possibly answers them, but of course we won’t know for sure. Near the end of Season 3, it is revealed that rescuers found an airplane they believed to be the survivor’s flight at the bottom of a deep underwater chasm, with all bodies on board. If this airplane is indeed the correct flight, then how are the survivors still alive? Are they alternate versions of themselves? What the heck?

Anyway, I’m intrigued.

I found this article on Yahoo! News this morning, which was originally written by Mike Klis of the Denver Post. In the article, Klis writes this:

The NFL and the Pittsburgh Steelers decided to start their Monday Night Football game without the National Anthem according to the Denver Post. Bad enough football has taken away all our free time in the fall and early winter. Now, it’s going to take away our patriotism?

This time, it seemed like the NFL had gone too far.

And I have to ask Mr. Klis, “Are you f**king kidding me.” I hate how sensitive people are these days, and I really, really hate when people accuse others of being unpatriotic. I hate it when Republicans criticize others for questioning the President and policies and calls those critics unpatriotic – isn’t it more patriotic to question what isn’t right? (balance of powers, freedom of speech, etc.) I hate it when… well, I just hate unpatriotic talk altogether. Unless someone goes and joins Al Qaeda and actively fights in one way or another against the U.S., they’re probably not unpatriotic. And this story just rubbed me the wrong way.

The article stems from the NFL and Pittsburgh’s decision to forego the National Anthem at the beginning of the game after kickoff was delayed 25 minutes due to horrendous weather, including lightning, rain and near swamp-like conditions. No one wanted to be outside, and I doubt the person singing the National Anthem really wanted to be outside, either. Can you really blame them for wanting to jump right to game play rather than spend ten minutes of the National Anthem, commercial breaks and so on and so forth?

Klis finishes his article with this: “The NFL hardly seemed worthy of its red, white and blue insignia colors by canceling America’s most honorable song so the show could on two minutes less late.” Come on! If anything, the NFL is probably the “most patriotic” sport in the USA, and they pander to patriotic thinking more than baseball, basketball, hockey and any other sport. Missing the National Anthem for one game is not going to kill anyone, and does not imply that the people who made the decision are any less patriotic.

I will resist the southern jokes, and instead just focus on the facts…

Authorities say one Alexander D. Smith, 31, walked into a Clearwater, Georgia bank and attempted to deposit some money into his bank account. He proceeded to curse out the bank teller and was promptly arrested, but disorderly content was not his only charge. As it turns out, stupidity has risen to a new level as Mr. Smith thought that it would be wise to try to deposit one million dollars into his account, something that will raise eyebrows even in Dubai. The real biggie: he only had one bill with him, and it was a one million dollar bill.

What do I say to that? This guy probably walked into the bank thinking he was the cleverest man east of the Mississippi, but maybe if he made it through the first grade he would have learned that the U.S. Mint has never printed anything close to a one million dollar bill.

The picture is of the actual bill the dumbass tried to use. He was also charged with another count of fraud for writing a bad check to buy some cigarettes. Ladies, he’s single! I hope.

One of our larger contests of recent date, we’re giving away the Get Smart: Complete Collection DVD set, which contains 25 DVD discs and lots and lots of Get Smart action (all five seasons). I’ve never really watched the show as it was before my time, but I hear it’s quite good. Of course, as you know, Steve Carrell and Anne Hathaway are starring in a remake/film adaptation of Get Smart in 2008, but nothing is ever as good as the original (okay, not entirely true).

The Emmy-award winning series stars Don Adams as title character Maxwell Smart, which originally aired on NBC from 1965 to 1970. All five seasons are included, as well as ten hours of bonus interviews (including a “new” interview with co-star Barbara Feldon, a.k.a. Agent 99.

The box set has a retail value (at Amazon.com) of $259.00.

Enter the contest now!