Movie Reviews

This has been the week of the war movie, as I’ve been stunned by not one but two great films in the last few days – and they couldn’t be any more different in their tone and approach.  The American-made The Hurt Locker was one of those movies, and the other is Waltz with Bashir, the Oscar-nominated Isreali documentary/drama that redefines whatever genre it belongs to.

Waltz with Bashir (Vals Im Bashir) is about writer/director Ari Folman’s exploration of his forgotten past. A modern-day filmmaker who, at 19, served in the Israeli invasion of Lebanon in 1982, Folman doesn’t remember anything about his time in the war, or, more specifically, his involvement in the Sabra and Shatila massacre, where hundreds or perhaps thousands of Palestinian and Lebanese civilians were slaughtered at the hands of soldiers and militiamen. After meeting an old war buddy for a drink, however, he begins to have flashbacks and decides to set out, interview his friends and former soldiers and regain his memory.

Read the rest of my Waltz with Bashir movie review.

Why I do this to myself I have no idea. For you, my readers, I suppose. Or a deep-rooted sense to intellectually cut myself at every possible opportunity. My roommate and I sat down last night and for the next hour and a half submitted ourselves to every bad camera angle, shot, corny piece of dialogue and unintelligible moment of Mutant Chronicles has to offer. It was painful, but Mutant Chronicles is one of those movies that are so bad they’re good.

Mutant Chronicles, based on a role-playing game, is directed by Simon Hunter and written by Philip Eisner (whose only respectable screenplay is Event Horizon). God, where to start. The movie is all over the map, though it’s hard to tell what is intentional and what is not.

Read the rest of the Mutant Chronicles movie review.

It must be crazy to say that Battlestar Galactica is one of the best television series ever made, simply because I and so many other people have been repeating such a statement for years now. Why say a thing repetitively when almost everyone who you talk to believes you already? That, my friends, is insanity.

The show is now over(except for the upcoming TV movie The Plan, which gives us one last BSG item to hold onto), as sad as that it is. That means it’s time for a complete series package, and a complete series package Sci-Fi Channel has made!

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I saw (500) Days of Summer last night with a friend, and here’s my movie review for the film:

The romantic comedy: Boys meets girl. Boy gets in argument with girl. Boy reunites with girl. Movie ends. Every movie is the same, only with different characters and a slightly modified hook. Some are better than others and legitimately entertaining. But in the end, they’re all predictable and unoriginal. So when (500) Days of Summer promises to be something different, you have to be intrigued – and skeptical.

Read the rest of my 500 Days of Summer movie review.

Joaquin Phoenix. What comes to mind when you hear that name? Two-time Academy Award nominee?  Younger brother of River Phoenix? Or crazy, bearded rapper wannabe who embarrassed himself, either intentionally or not, on a variety of occasions over the last several months? Regardless, what he isn’t known for is his “final” movie Two Lovers, which he was supposed to be promoting on David Letterman during the now infamous gum chewing interview.

Read the rest of the Two Lovers review.

There are good movies, and there are bad ones. That’s a John Madden thing to say, but it’s true. Miss March, sad to say, falls clearly into the latter category, and doesn’t even appear to care.

Zach Cregger and Trevor Moore wrote, directed and star in this road trip movie, about a guy who fell into a coma in high school and has awoken four years later only to discover that he can no longer control his bowels, his parents have moved away and his girlfriend, once a proponent of abstinence, has become a Playboy cover girl. His best friend Tucker (played by Moore) decides to kidnap him from the hospital, travel across the country and crash a Playboy Mansion party to win her back. Antics ensue, all of which are allegedly funny.

Read the rest of the Miss March review.

When Joss Whedon’s Dollhouse debuted in February, I was mildly intrigued to see what the man had come up with. I never watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer but was a huge fan of Firefly and its companion film Serenity, and so Whedon’s name alone was enough to get me to watch the premiere. The show didn’t look all that great from the previews, as the Fox marketing team had once again failed to present it as quality material (when Firefly first came out, I also thought it looked incredibly stupid). The show also stars Eliza Dushku, a sexy woman who I like to look at but have always equated with B-grade television.

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Mischa Barton left The O.C. at the end of season three, perhaps a wise move considering the once-popular television series was fading quickly at that point. But even though she got out just in time, Barton has yet to make a name for herself as anyone but Marissa Cooper. Her latest film, the limited release thriller Homecoming, won’t change that, though the movie itself is surprisingly easy to watch.

Read the rest of the Homecoming movie review.

The time is near, that when the Harry Potter franchise delivers its final whisk of the wand. The tension is starting to build, and Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, the sixth entry in the blockbuster franchise, is a key indicator of how the story of Harry, Ron and Hermione will end. David Yates, who also directed the previous Harry Potter film, is back at the helm – as he will be for the final two movies – but there was no certainty that the franchise would end on a high note. After sitting through two and a half hours of the latest Harry Potter, however, I can say with confidence that I can’t wait for the final chapters to arrive.

Read the rest of the Harry Potter movie review.

Forget Megan Fox. Odette Yustman is the hottest young actress working today. In her follow-up to Cloverfield, in which she made a name for herself despite being in the movie for just a few minutes, she plays a young woman who is being haunted by her dead, unborn twin. That’s got to suck.

Read the rest of The Unborn movie review.

There’s bad, and then there’s Street Fighter bad. And what’s worse than a Street Fighter movie but an unnecessary, unwanted sequel fifteen years after the franchise’s heyday, starring a TV actress and lacking a plot? Yes, it’s Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li.

One has to think that 20th Century Fox had this absurd idea when greenlighting the film that it would do well enough to fund several sequels titled Street Fighter: The Legend of Another Forgettable Character. Ah, Hollywood executives. You’re so cute sometimes.

Read the rest of the Street Fighter movie review.

One would think that after The Marine Hollywood would have decided that John Cena wasn’t cut out for movies, but the professional wrestler is back, this time to save his wife from the hands of an evil mastermind, in 12 Rounds.

If that sounds like the plot of The Marine only more absurd, you’re not alone. In 12 Rounds though, you see, Cena is a police detective who is accidentally responsible for the death of the bad guy’s hot girlfriend. Fearing he may never get someone as hot as her again, the bad guy (Aidan Gillen) breaks out of prison a year later (I don’t believe the movie ever explains how to a satisfying degree), kidnaps Cena’s wife (Ashley Scott), blows up their house and then forces Cena to do 12 rounds of nearly impossible and even more implausible tasks to get her back. It’s like Die Hard with a Vengeance, only without Bruce Willis, Samuel L. Jackson and entertainment value.

Read the rest of the 12 Rounds movie review.

When I saw the previews for Dark Streets, I was intrigued. It looked like a darker Moulin Rouge meets Chicago, a smoky musical thriller set in the underworld of New Orleans. Unfortunately, reality is often much less exciting.

Dark Streets stars Gabriel Mann as Chaz, a playboy and nightclub owner who finds his life spinning out of control amidst too many love affairs, debt and the mystery surrounding his father’s death. Though there is a plot, Dark Streets is essentially one-long music video, featuring original songs with performances by Natalie Cole, Etta James, Richie Sambora and more.

Read the rest of the Dark Streets movie review.

John Travolta knows how to play memorable villains. He was intense in Face/Off, entertaining in Broken Arrow and mind blowing in Battlefield Earth. Just joking about that last one, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be excited to see the crafty Scientologist back on the dark side – and squaring off against his most worth opponent yet: Denzel Washington. Can you think of two better scene-chewing actors that should work together? Throw in the frenetic Tony Scott and you’ve got The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3, an entertaining though unexceptional action-thriller.

Read the rest of my Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 movie review.

Oh, how far has Harrison Ford fallen? Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was supposed to resurrect his career, but instead it just seemed to reaffirm people’s suspicions that he is a bit of a has-been, a man whose best movies are behind him. Personally, I believe he still has a few good years left in him, but Crossing Over does little to back up my position.

In Crossing Over, Ford is but one of an ensemble cast that includes the likes of Ray Liotta, Ashley Judd, Jim Sturgess (Across the Universe) and Summer Bishil (Towelhead), among others. I like the idea of Ford playing a smaller role, as going the supporting route allows actors to reestablish credibility and play characters he or she might otherwise not get to play. However, if you’re going to do an ensemble part, at least play a character that is at least marginally interesting.

Read the rest of my Crossing Over movie review.