Movie Reviews

Choke arrives on DVD on Tuesday, February 17. Though the movie is from writer Chuck Palahnuik, who is best known for Fight Club, this movie isn’t anything that classic, and as such, fans may be disappointed. Nevertheless, for what it is, it works, offering some entertaining dark comedy about sex addicts and a delusional mother.

You can read my full Choke movie review here. As decent as the movie is, the DVD is nothing to scream about. While at first glance there are a lot of special features, most were made to make it look like the DVD is worth buying. Aside from some deleted scenes and one short featurette on the film’s casting, most of the bonus features are a complete waste of time.

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Loyal readers should know that I’m an atheist. And as an atheist, I’m a big fan of Bill Maher’s documentary Religulous. It’s not that I think the movie is an incredible documentary that will convert believers – after all, believers wouldn’t come within ten feet of this movie – but it makes some pretty valid points…  Most importantly, it makes the point that religion doesn’t make any sense. It never did, and it never will.

Religulous (read my Religulous movie review here) arrives on DVD next Tuesday, February 17, and with it a few bonus features including an audio commentary and a slew of deleted scenes. I haven’t listened to the audio commentary, but plan to: after all, Bill Maher should make for a good commentary. The deleted scenes are actually several deleted segments, each of which focus on a different set of people that were entirely removed from the movie. There are some funny moments found in these segments, though it’s understandable why they were removed from the final picture; some of them aren’t that entertaining, and the others are redundant when placed against existing scenes.

Unfortunately, the polygamist wives segment is surprisingly short; I would have liked to see more of them.

Complementing the deleted scenes are several “Bill Maher rants,” which feature the comedian speaking to the camera about why certain religious facets don’t make sense. Some variations are included in the movie itself, but there are several new segments that raise some good points.

All in all, I was a little disappointed to not find more deleted scenes on the disc; I would have imagined that a lot of good material was cut from existing segments (most notably at Jesus Land or whatever that place was called). Nevertheless, the Religulous DVD offers a decent set of features given the type of movie it is – I wouldn’t have expected much more.

For moderates or the downright non-believers, Religulous is a must-see. As entertaining as it is, it’s not worth purchasing – unless you plan to show it to a bunch of children to spread the truth.

The new Friday the 13th movie comes to theaters this Friday, just in time for Valentine’s Day. From the director of the surprisingly good Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake, the movie is destined to be the best of the franchise, even if by default. After all, let’s face it: the Friday the 13th series is terrible. Compared to all of the other big horror franchises such as Nightmare on Elm Street and Halloween, this series is C-grade garbage.

Of course, that didn’t stop me from watching the first three movies over the weekend. Why? Because Paramount sent me the new DVDs, which were just re-released on February 3, 2009 to take advantage of the new film. I watched all three in a 24-hour span, and have to say that they’re better than I remembered… but not by much.

Here are my Friday the 13th movie reviews…

• Friday the 13th (1980)
  I came home from a long day at work earlier this week and there, sitting on my doorstep, was the first three Friday the 13th movies. In conjunction with the upcoming release of the new Friday the 13th remake, Paramount is understandably trying to cash in by re-releasing several of the films on DVD. Despite loving slasher flicks, I’ve never been a fan of the series, but that night, with nothing better to do other than watch the utterly boring Miracle at St. Anna, I figured I might give the franchise another chance. More…
• Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)
  Having just received the first three Friday the 13th movies in the mail the other day, it didn’t take me long to start watching them. In fact, about five minutes after I finished the first movie, I went right onto the second, eager for some Jason goodness. Of course, ‘Jason goodness’ is relative, given that Friday the 13th is one of the worst horror franchises on the market. More…
• Friday the 13th Part III: In 3D (1982)
  The wonderful director who made Friday the 13th Part 2 returns to direct Friday the 13th Part 3: 3-D. Unfortunately, he didn’t learn from his mistakes and Part 3 is shockingly worse than the last one. More…

Frozen River is one of those movies that you may not have heard of until Oscar nominations were announced, and that left you wondering how you could see such an acclaimed film that had long since left theaters. Thankfully, Frozen River is now available on DVD and Blu-Ray…

I watched the movie over the weekend, so please read my Frozen River movie review now:

One of the most talked about movies that no one has heard of, Frozen River arrives on DVD on Tuesday, just in time for audiences to get a peek at the Oscar-nominated performance by star Melissa Leo before awards are handed out at the end of the month. Read more…

In other news, I’m giving away a Blu-Ray copy of Frozen River – so enter to win a copy today!

The Weinstein Company will release Jet Li’s The Enforcer in a Special Collector’s Edition DVD on Tuesday, February 10, along with a variety of new bonus features including interviews with the producer, former child star Tse Miu and the villain of the picture, Ken Lo – as well as a feature commentary.

What The Weinstein Company really should have done instead is included a Cantonese audio track so I wouldn’t have had to sludge through a poorly dubbed English version.

Yes, this special collector’s edition is so special that it doesn’t even include the original audio. For someone who has never seen The Enforcer before, like me, it doesn’t do much to win me over by forcing me to listen to dubbed audio, something I vowed never to do after sitting through one too many cringe-inducing Jackie Chan dubs. Dubbing automatically pisses me off, especially when the voice-over actors speak non-accented English. At least have Chinese people with Chinese-accents do the voices!

In reaction to the lack of its original Cantonese track, The Weinstein Company released this statement:

Dragon Dynasty strives to provide fans with only the highest quality DVD releases, including restored video and audio and extensive never-before-seen bonus features created exclusively for the label.

Though no usable version of the original Cantonese-language track was available in time for this release, every effort was made to bring together the best elements in the world in creating the greatest version of The Enforcer ever experienced on DVD in the U.S.

My reaction to this: then don’t release the DVD until you have that audio track available. I thought we were well past the day of dubbing movies, or at least not giving the viewers a choice. Dubbing erases an actors’ performance and reduces the picture to a cheesy mockery of its former self. It’s preposterous that the studio would provide a version like this to Jet Li fans.

As for the movie itself, The Enforcer is just OK. Had I watched the original Cantonese version, I might have thought differently, but with a bunch of English actors providing their voices, most of the dialogue in the movie comes off as overly cheesy and ridiculous. Some of the dialogue, frankly, is painful to listen to.

Beyond the audio issues, however, the movie does suffer from a few unintentionally goofy moments. Some of the wire work at the end, where Jet Li is throwing his kung fu son at bad guys and then withdrawing him with a piece of rope, is funny but completely stupid. The son should also have been brain dead a few times over by the end, yet he always manages to come back to life even after being declared dead by a surgeon. My favorite is that after the boy “dies,” his dad’s first reaction is that, “We need to get him out of here!” rather than to set him down and give him immediate CPR. It’s just little things like this that add up to make the movie look sort of foolish.

That being said, there are some excellent action scenes. The final climax is non-stop and enjoyable, with some good, gritty fighting and stunts. For Jet Li fans, this is more than enough.

When all is said and done, The Enforcer comes off as a lesser version of Infernal Affairs (or The Departed, for that matter), with some good action but a plot full of holes. Unfortunately, without being able to watch a subtitled version of the picture, I can’t give a very good assessment. I’m still amazed that The Weinstein Company would release a movie on DVD without its original audio track.

Soul Men comes to DVD next Tuesday, and of three big names in the film – Bernie Mac, Samuel L. Jackson and Isaac Hayes – only Jackson lived to see this comedy released to theaters.

I’m not sure that Jackson was the lucky one.

After all, Jackson most likely attended the premiere, which means that he had to be embarrased in front of everyone when he saw the final product. Soul Men is pretty disastrous, and is definitely not the way Bernie Mac would have wanted to go out.

Read my full Soul Men movie review here.

One of my most anticipated movies of 2008, Blindness is directed by Fernando Meirelles, the man behind such visually stimulating films as The Constant Gardener and City of God. Given his stunning resume, Blindness looked like a sure lock for one of the best movies of the year. Starring Mark Ruffalo and Julianne Moore, the movie is about a horrifying virus that spreads throughout the country, causing everyone – except for Moore’s character – to go blind. That’s pretty bad ass.

Unfortunately, Blindness isn’t nearly as good as I was expecting. Decent, yes, but the film never fully clicks. Some of the character reactions and plot points don’t make sense. Most shockingly, the film is visually dull. Maybe all of those protesters outside the theater stating, “Blindness is not bad,” or something could have saved their breath. While I’d still recommend the movie to people who want something different, it’s not nearly as good as it could have been.

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I love movies. I really love movies. I love watching them, I love playing them, and I love stroking them. Wait, what? Ignore that last part. Getting back on track, as much as I love movies, I’m really not a huge fan of bonus features. It’s not that there aren’t some really good bonus features that get packaged with DVDs – it’s just that the movies themselves are enough for me. The only reason bonus features are included on discs are to sell more – which is fine – but they are, in fact, bonus. And unlike bonus questions on a test that can raise your grade from a B+ to an A-, bonus questions don’t elevate a movie from one plateau to the next.

Given that, I was actually happy to see that W., the George Bush docu-drama from famed director Oliver Stone, had only one real bonus feature. That’s not to say I’m going to recommend the DVD, but when I can knock off a DVD review in a matter of minutes… that’s just awesome.

W. itself is a decent movie, with strong performances from some of the actors (Josh Brolin and Richard Dreyfuss as Bush and Cheney, respectively) and others that are just plain strange (Thandie Newton as a nasally Condoleeza). The movie works for the most part, even though it clips over some important aspects of the Bush presidency and would probably have worked better had it been made a couple years from now, when the taste of Bush is more of a nagging thought than a cringing reminder of what has happened to our country. You can read my full W. movie review here.

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It’s funny: of all the successful comedies of the year, one of the funniest, which combined the likes of Seth Rogen with the director who made his kind of comedy possible in the first place – Kevin Smith – flopped. One shouldn’t have been surprised, given that Kevin Smith has hardly been a box office phenom and that The Weinstein Company wasn’t even allowed to market its film title in many venues, but given that Seth Rogen has been in one hit after another – the sudden failure of Zack and Miri Make a Porno struck me by surprise.

And, given that it is one of the most hilarious movies of 2008, I was disappointed. Nevertheless, the movie should make plenty of money this week as it spins its way onto DVD. Those who haven’t seen this movie should, and those who have already seen it should definitely consider buying the 2-Disc Edition, as it is packed with bonus features.

Most notably, Zack and Miri Make a Porno includes over an hour and a half of deleted scenes. Some of them are alternates, but these deleted scenes give you a sense of just how much improv was conducted by the cast. There are plenty of hilarious lines (“what do scrotums taste like?”) and exchanges, especially between Rogen and Justin Long. An entire movie could be made just around Justin Long’s character – if you liked his brief involvement in Zack and Miri, you’ll definitely get a kick out of the deleted scenes.

Beyond those, there’s a pretty strong making-of featurette, which goes through every stage of filming, from casting to filming to getting the film past the MPAA. The making-of documentary is impressively in-depth and honest, and well worth watching.

A series of webisodes are included, some of which are better than others. One with Kevin Smith and Seth Rogen exchanging barbs is pretty good (“What’s Jersey Girl?” “Let’s not talk about it.”).

Some footage from Comic-Con 2008 puts the cast altogether in an audience-driven interview setting. There are no major takeaways here, but it’s not worthless, either.

The outtakes and bloopers are surprisingly disappointing.

Lastly, Seth Rogen and Justin Long face off in an improvisation battle. Most of this can be found in the deleted scenes, but it’s still pretty disappointing.

Between the hours of deleted scenes and the making-of featurette, Zack and Miri Make a Porno 2-Disc Edition is well worth buying. The movie itself is hilarious and surprisingly sweet, so the combination of the film and bonus features make for one of the first great packages of 2009.

Back in 2006, when A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints was first released, the movie was a surprisingly decent flick with a recognizable but not-staggering cast. Flash forward three years and the movie has changed significantly: it’s a surprisingly decent flick with an A-list cast.

Back in 2006, the movie starred Robert Downey, Jr., who was still was looking for his comeback role, and Shia LaBeouf, whose biggest film to date was a role in Bobby. Channing Tatum was a force to be reckoned with, but the only place you would have seen him was a dance movie called Step Up. Iron Man, Tropic Thunder, Transformers, Indiana Jones, Disturbia and Eagle Eye later, however, and you suddenly have two A-list actors who have strung together a series of massive hits. Tatum still hasn’t broken out, but most people know who he is.

In other words, given the quality of A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints, this movie may actually have received some promotional backing had it been released more recently. It’s amazing what a few years make.

The movie is a flashback/flashforward story of three friends who grew up in a tough neighborhood in Queens. All troublemakers as teenagers, they diverged at adulthood – one was able to escape the neighborhood, while the others fell victim to it. Chazz Palminteri, Dianne Wiest and Rosario Dawson also star.

You can read my original A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints movie review here (in which I say, it “offer[s] some fine performances from some up-and-coming stars”).

This Tuesday, February 3, 2009, A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints is re-released in an all-new Limited Edition DVD set. By set, I mean one disc, but it sounds better that way. Usually I criticize studios for re-releasing films for the umpteenth time just to make a buck, but given the suddenly changed star power of many of its stars, it makes sense to try to get this picture in front of a larger audience – after all, most people haven’t heard of this film, let alone seen it.

The Limited Edition includes these bonus features:

• Commentary with director Dito Montiel and editor Jake Pushinsky
• The Making-Of Documentary
  The making-of featurette primarily revolves around writer/director Dito Montiel (who is played by LaBeouf and Downey, Jr.) and how he came to make this movie. It also involves several interviews with the casting director, and their determination to cast on acting ability rather than star power. There are some interesting moments, and the featurette feels authentic (not promotional), but there’s nothing spellbinding her. The featurette just moves along without providing us an “a-ha” moment or even any stimulating interviews.
• Alternate Endings and Openings
  There are about ten alternate endings and openings provided here, all of them of considerable quality. This is an impressive collection.
• Deleted Scenes
  There are also several very good deleted scenes; I haven’t seen this many well-done deleted scenes packaged together in a long time. They were apparently cut for pacing and storytelling reasons, and not due to lack of quality.
• Rooftop Scene
  Dito Montiel directs and acts in this alternate scene with actress Helen Dallas; it’s a riveting little piece of stagework, and well worth watching.
• Full Monty Interview
  Well worth your time. Just kidding. 30 seconds with an old guy. Stimulating.
• Young Laurie Audition played by Diana Carcamo
  A pretty good screen test further exemplifies the raw talent that can be found in this film.
• Trailers and Previews

A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints is a pretty good movie with intense performances and a worthwhile, gritty story. Certainly recommended.

OK, I’ll admit it: I’d never seen Mary Poppins. In fact, I didn’t even know what it was about. I knew that some lady named Julie Andrews was the star – and of course I know who Dick Van Dyke is – but other than that, I heard something about it being a cheesy combination of live-action musical and cartoons. It sounded pretty damn stupid, and when I actually watched this so-called classic Disney film, it confirmed my beliefs: completely – and I mean completely – overrated. I don’t get what people like about this film, and will never watch it again. When I will have children, I will ensure they never, ever see Mary Poppins.

OK, I’ll admit it: that first paragraph is a complete lie. Mary Poppins is one of the biggest family classics of all time, and it deserves to be. It stands the test of time incredibly well, thanks to the enjoyable songs and overall goofiness picture, combined with authentic performances from everyone involved – including the child actors.

To go on raving about Mary Poppins is rather wasteful, so I’ll shift my attention to the 45th Anniversary 2-Disc set that came to DVD earlier this week. The DVD contains a variety of bonus features, and I’ll admit it (for real this time): it’s a pretty good collection of items.

The quantity is good, and the quality is good, and both kids and adults should find something to enjoy here. The one that stands out the most to me is a “musical reunion with Julie Andrews, Dick Van Dyke and Richard Sherman.” While there’s nothing remarkable here, it’s nice to see Van Dyke and Andrews back together again, singing songs and talking about their experiences.

Speaking of Van Dyke and Andrews, it’s nice to see actors not completely consumed with themselves, even after all these years. These days, if an actor does a big film and is asked to do a reunion interview some years later, I would expect that 50% of the time they would turn it down. In this collection, both Van Dyke and Andrews show up in a variety of special features in their modern-day forms (still looking surprisingly good) – whether it be a new Mary Poppins short (yes, Julie Andrews is back as Mary Poppins!) or a making-of featurette.

Extending from my complaint about modern actors, it’s also impressive to see footage from the original premiere. The interviews seem like something straight out of a Disney movie, and yet they’re sincere. Van Dyke especially just seems happy to be there, and he waves at his baby girl like a goofball. Compare this to modern day premiere or red carpet events and… well, it’s hard to see the similarities.

Less interesting to me were the featurettes about the Broadway version. I didn’t find these all that stimulating, though people with more interest in theater should find something to enjoy. The Broadway elements are extensive – they just didn’t do it for me.

The Mary Poppins: 45th Anniversary DVD has a variety of other features, including the original theatrical trailer, makeup tests with Dick Van Dyke, some additional music numbers, among other things.  All in all, it’s an impressive set of bonus features – and while I have a pile of other movies sitting around waiting to be reviewed, I couldn’t help but stick this movie in. The music is great, the visuals stand up surprisingly well and it’s just an all-around entertaining movie.

To be honest, I just had a single glass of wine and for some reason it’s hitting me harder than I would expect… so I’m going to glaze over the rest of the features. In all fairness, big fans of the movie -

The Shield is gone, leaving the airways devoid of gritty, gray-and-grayer police drama. Michael Chiklis was a complete badass, and over the course of seven amazing seasons, the writers carved an amazingly complex, suspenseful and believable tale of crime, corruption and tragedy. The last season, especially, was a masterstroke.

And only a few months later, A&E’s The Beast has risen from the ashes to take The Shield‘s place. Or at least try.

The Beast plays out like a down-and-dirty version of the Chris Cooper movie Breach mixed with a less captivating Training Day; Travis Fimmel stars as Jake, a young, eager cop who has been recruited to partner with Charles Barker (Patrick Swayze). Just as in Training Day, Jake is green around the edges and has a lot to learn when pitted against Charles, who will cross the line to accomplish the mission. SPOILER ALERT: It isn’t long, though, before Jake is confronted with a team of officials who inform him that he has been selected to spy on Charles, given the suspicion that the man is dirty.

Surprisingly, it isn’t Swayze who has the lead but Fimmel; the narrative stays focused on Jake much more than Charles. Nevertheless, Fimmel holds his own and quickly proves that he can carry the show, and one has to wonder, given Swayze’s dire circumstances, that this isn’t completely coincidental. On the flip side, it’s Swayze who will draw audiences in and keep them there, as he delivers his best performance in years – though that isn’t hard, since no one has seen him in years. That fact aside, Swayze growls his way through scene to scene with satisfying brutality, though those expecting Denzel Washington-esque screen chewing should look elsewhere. As good as Trimmel is, this show will live and die with Swayze – and I sincerely hope that doesn’t turn into a literal statement.

Neither the pilot episode or Episode 2, titled Two Choices, blew me away; as intense as Swayze is, that intensity doesn’t always resonate through the show itself. Again, one can’t help but compare The Beast to The Shield, and having grown to love that show over seven seasons, it’s hard to see the same quality here. Nevertheless, only two episodes have passed and both are good enough to give it a few more chances.

In other words, it has potential.

Interestingly, one of the most intriguing aspects of the show is the relationship between Jake and his neighbor Rose, played by the beautiful Lindsay Pulsipher. The relationship serves as a good antithesis to the rest of the show, and I liked the prospect of the issues the couple is going to face in the future. Still, I think the writers jumped the gun by removing much of their conflict by the second episode.

The Beast, which premieres Thursday, January 15th at 10pm ET/PT on A&E hasn’t won me over, but it’s intriguing enough to give it a little time. It’s sad to think that this may be Patrick Swayze’s final hurrah, but if it is, it is a commendable way to go out. The show maybe similar to bigger and better things, but Swayze’s performance is top notch.

This will be a short movie review, simply because there is little to say. For those of you who have been reading my blog with some consistency, you’ve noticed that I’ve been slowly working my way through the many classic Audrey Hepburn movies, that I, as a 20-something male, never got around to seeing. This series of reviews is no coincidence, of course, because Paramount has been releasing Hepburn’s works in the form of new Centennial Collection DVDs.

Breakfast at Tiffany’s is the fifth DVD release in this line, and it didn’t come a moment too soon. After all, I hold Breakfast at Tiffany’s as one of the best romantic comedies ever made, and one that all future films should be compared against.

The movie works on many levels: Hepburn is fantastic and super hot in it; the chemistry between her and George Peppard is great; the story is fun and more than stands the test of time; the movie is romantic and funny all at once; and so on and so forth.

I told you this was going to be a short review. Analysing films that I really like is always rather boring, because anything you write in attempt to fill out the review ends up being filler for the baseline fact: the movie is damn good. So, why waste words?

I’m done.

Seriously.

Breakfast at Tiffany’s is great, and if you’re young like me and haven’t seen the movie, you should check it out. Especially you ladies, because then maybe you wouldn’t go flocking to such pictures as Bride Wars, which looked funny but rather disparaging to the fairer sex from the previews.

God, you’re still here? The 2-disc DVD set includes commentary by producer Richard Shepherd and a variety of featurettes, including:

• A Golightly Gathering
• Henry Mancini: More Than Music
• Mr. Yunioshi: An Asian Perspective
• The Making of a Classic
• It’s So Audrey: A Style Icon
• Behind the Gates: The Tour
• Brilliance in a Blue Box
• Audrey’s Letter to Tiffany
• Original Theatrical Trailer

So, if you’re an Audrey Hepburn fan, this new DVD version of Breakfast at Tiffany’s may be worth purchasing.

My Best Friend’s Girl arrives on DVD on January 13th, 2009. Here’s my movie review for the romantic comedy:

Dane Cook continues his quest to prove he’s unfunny in My Best Friend’s Girl, a less-crude version of Good Luck Chuck with only a slightly altered premise. In the movie, Cook plays a guy named Tank, who is hired by other men to take their ex-girlfriends on dates and show those women, by being a complete and utter asshole, that their former flames aren’t so bad. So, once again, Cook plays a womanizer who ultimately falls for one of his victims.

Thankfully, My Best Friend’s Girl is no Good Luck Chuck. It isn’t hilarious, it isn’t a must-see, but it is mildly entertaining and easy to watch. It also doesn’t self-destruct the way the aforementioned did, though it isn’t completely clear of a Cook-meltdown that seems to be commonplace in his films.

Read the rest of the My Best Friend’s Girl movie review.

Swing Vote will be released on DVD on January 13, 2009. Here is my Swing Vote movie review:

Poor Kevin Costner. Once a box office star, he is now the anti-star, and for no real apparent reason. He’s an enjoyable actor, and if you look at his resume, he has far more good films than bad ones. Audiences and critics alike still punish him for Waterworld and The Postman, even though since he hasn’t done any more disasters than most other big actors. Nevertheless, it’s no surprise that his latest film, Swing Vote, came and went from theaters without a thought. It’s a shame, actually, as Swing Vote is surprisingly entertaining.

Costner stars as a down-on-his-luck single father named Bud who has never cared about politics – or much of anything at all. In complete contrast is his young daughter, wise beyond her years and well-educated on the world. By fluke chance, however, Bud is thrust into the national spotlight when it is determined that he is the one vote that will decide the outcome of the presidential election. Suddenly, Bud finds himself hounded by reporters and candidates alike, even though he has no interest in the process or the issues. Read the full Swing Vote movie review.