Movies

The X-Files: I Want to Believe is coming to theaters on July 25, less than two months away. The movie is arguably the biggest movie on 20th Century Fox’s roster for 2008, and if not at least in the top three behind The Day the Earth Stood Still and The Happening.

The X-Files 2 has a huge built-in fan base and is an established franchise that Fox should be milking for all it’s worth. So, why oh why is the Internet not swarming with promotions?

There has been a teaser trailer. There’s been a full-length trailer. Neither of which have been very inspiring. As an X-Files fan, I’m excited, but the trailers haven’t blown me away – which means that non-fans, an audience Chris Carter and Fox is hoping to draw into theaters, are probably not very impressed either. To cap things off, the movie has been titled I Want to Believe, which, frankly, is almost as bad as 2 Fast 2 Furious.

The only thing really going for the movie is that Fox is doing a good job of keeping the plot under wraps. There have been plenty of false rumors and guesswork, but nothing that amounts to truly viral marketing. Why isn’t Fox doing what Paramount did for Cloverfield? Fake websites, Internet fanaticism and, perhaps, more promotion in theaters. I have yet to see The X-Files 2 marketed in theaters, which is pretty odd for a franchise film set to be released in the middle of the summer.

Lastly, take a look at the Russian X-Files movie trailer below. The trailer pretty much kicks ass; why don’t the American movie trailers take the same approach?

Those of you who thought that perhaps – just perhaps – that the production of S. Darko (also known as Donnie Darko 2) was just some bad rumor will be troubled to hear that casting is indeed going forward. Whereas the first movie starred practically unknown Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal, the casting has gone the Showgirls route with the announcement that Elizabeth Berkley will be joining the cast.

Berkley will play a crazy Jesus freak who wants to rid the world of sin – but who also lusts after her dreamy pastor.

In addition, Briana Evigan (Step Up 2: The Streets) will also have a role in the movie as the best friend of star Daveigh Chase (reprising her role as the youngest daughter in the original Donnie Darko). Other cast members already announced include Ed Westwick and Justin Chatwin.

S. Darko, as a movie, really worries me.

The Lord of the Ring franchise is New Line Cinema’s greatest achievement and greatest curse. The movies, which mark the pinnacle of the now all-but-defunct company, have made billions of dollars in revenue – but have also brought along some hefty lawsuits to boot. With the Peter Jackson lawsuit now behind them, New Line is facing a new one that aims to halt the development and production of Guillermo Del Toro’s The Hobbit movies.

Time Online is reporting that Christopher Tolkien, son of J.R.R. Tolkin, has vowed “one last crusade.” Christopher Tolkien, already a bane to Lord of the Ring fans everywhere, is pressing on his long-running court battle to receive $80 million in back payments from a deal that was signed in 1969. Christopher, who is now 83, apparently was facing tax problems and had to sell the rights to his father’s work.

The lawsuit, which will be presented to a judge on June 6th, will lay claim to Christopher’s right to terminate film rights to The Hobbit and its sequel.

The Associated Press is reporting that an actor who played a minor role in the upcoming Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince has died after being stabbed to death. Eighteen-year-old Rob Knox was killed when he got involved in a fight outside a bar. Allegedly, a 21-year old suspect, who has been taken into custody, pulled a knife and stabbed Knox to death.

Knox played Ravenclaw student Marcus Belby in the new Harry Potter movie. The article does not indicate whether Belby already filmed his scene, though, with the movie set to release in less than six months, one would assume that he had.

Fourteen teenagers have been violently killed in London since the beginning of the year.

Oh, those silly little Soviets. One may think that communism is dead in Russia, or not if you watch as Vladimir Putin moves “his country” closer and closer to a KGB-esque version of democracy, but regardless of what he denies, there still is a Communist Party in Russia, and they allegedly want to return Russia to the glory years of the Soviet Union.

OK, that may be a sweeping generalization of Russia’s Communist Party. The Red Scare is all but over, and people have their right to whatever political beliefs they may hold. There’s nothing inherently evil about communism, though the implementation of such ideals have never appeared to be as glorious as Karl Marx had foreseen. And when it comes to Russia, communism has a pretty bad track record. That being said, I’m sure there are the moderates and the extremists within Russia’s Communist Party, but you wouldn’t guess from this Reuters article about Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

According to the article, Russian Communists aren’t too happy about the depiction of their brethren in the latest Indiana Jones movie, so much so that they are calling for the film’s boycott in the largest country in the world. You see, to them, Indiana Jones 4 is “crude, anti-Soviet propaganda that distorts history.”

No, they’re not complaining about the specifics within the Indiana Jones movie, which is clearly fiction from beginning to end, but instead about the depiction of Cate Blanchett as an evil KGB agent looking for a crystal skull that could give her unimaginable powers – along with a bunch of other mindless and “evil” KGB agents and Soviet soldiers. The following are quotes taken from a recent Communist meeting (according to the Reuters article):

“What galls is how together with America we defeated Hitler, and how we sympathized when Bin Laden hit them. But they go ahead and scare kids with Communists. These people have no shame.” Um, I’m pretty sure Communists have been used as villains in films for the last sixty years.

“Harrison Ford and Cate Blanchett (are) second-rate actors, serving as the running dogs of the CIA. We need to deprive these people of the right of entering the country.” Really? Wow.

“Our movie-goers are teenagers who are completely unaware of what happened in 1957. They will go to the cinema and will be sure that in 1957 we made trouble for the United States and almost started a nuclear war. It’s rubbish … In 1957 the communists did not run with crystal skulls throughout the U.S. Why should we agree to that sort of lie and let the West trick our youth?” OK, so maybe the Communists are attacking the plot of the movie. Arguments like these are ones that really send me over the deep end – if you’re going to take mindless entertainment so seriously, how can we possibly take your arguments seriously?

Ultimately, I find things like this ludicrous. Countries get offended by odd things, and it’s not always too surprising – after all, many countries have very strong national identities and don’t like it when films portray them in a negative light (Borat comes to mind). Hell, even some people in the U.S. get upset about anti-U.S. films (Bill O’Reilly, anyone?). Still, this is the first time I’ve heard of the defunct Russian Communist Party getting upset about such a blatantly harmless movie (though I’ve come to understand that there were also complaints about 1998′s Armageddon because the movie portrayed a derelict Russian space station). I mean, really, so many American and European movies have portrayed Soviets in a much more negative light, and usually to a higher degree of realism. The James Bond movies come to mind. Dozens of other quality films, too. Why get heated – and call for the ban of – Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull?

Silly Communists.

A recent survey conducted by FilmJabber.com found that Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was expected to be the best of the summer by moviegoers. The Harrison Ford-starring film, the first Indiana Jones movie in nearly two decades, has been buzzing, and 27% of the survey takers said it “will be the best blockbuster of the summer.”

Indiana Jones narrowly beat out The Dark Knight, which came in second with 26%. Third place belonged to the already-released Iron Man, which received 9% of the votes.

However, among men, The Dark Knight was considered to be the best by 34% of the group versus 21% for Indiana Jones. Among women, 31% expect Indiana Jones to be the best movie of the summer. Whereas one might expect Sex and the City to have ranked high in this category, The Dark Knight still came in second with 16%.

All of this bodes well for Thursday’s release of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, which is a frontrunner to make more money than any other film this summer – and perhaps this year. Reviews have been mixed, but I wouldn’t expect anything less. The hype is so high that people are bound to be disappointed – more than likely, this is a film that will thrill and entertain more on a second viewing.

I love Donnie Darko. The movie, directed by Richard Kelly and starring Jake Gyllenhaal, was an amazing piece of work in every way. I do not love news that Donnie Darko 2 is in the works, however.

There are some movies that are great on their own, that are so good that any other related film will pale in comparison, that wrap things up in just the right way that it isn’t necessary to continue the story. Such was the case with Donnie Darko.

Unfortunately, according to Screen Daily News, production for Donnie Darko 2, officially titled S. Darko, begins on May 18, 2008. Kelly and the Gyllenhaals (Maggie was in the first movie, too) are not involved, but thankfully Chris Fisher, acclaimed director of such films as Rampage: The Hillside Strangler Murders and Nightstalker, is taking the reigns.

Fisher said, “I am a great admirer of Richard Kelly’s film and hope to create a similar world of blurred fantasy and reality.” Simon Crowe, of Velvet Octopus, one of the companies producing the film, added, “I think there is a new generation of cinema-goers who will be very excited to see this film. Donnie’s not in it but there are meteorites and rabbits.”

As for the plot and cast, Daviegh Chase, who played Donnie’s younger sister, is set to return and will follow her and a friend as they travel to Los Angeles. There, they experience visions and other weird things. Ed Westwick, Briana Evigan and Justin Chatwin are also cast members.

What are they thinking? How can this happen? What a horrible, horrible, horrible idea!

May 2008 is here, and that can only mean one thing: I grow another year older, and the summer movie season has started. Okay, that’s two things, but read on anyway! There are a lot of great movies coming out this year, or, at least, movies that appear to be great. From a new Batman movie to one of the most anticipated films of all time – the fourth Indiana Jones movie – buzz is at an all-time high.

But where there is buzz, there is unrealistic expectations… will the 2008 summer movie season offer some major disappointments? If either of those aforementioned films disappoint, I will go on a rampage, and, unfortunately, I feel like I’ve set the bar way too high. Still, beyond those two films, there are 20 other movies that might be worth seeing this summer – and this only counts the mainstream films that have released their trailers. Of course, all the real heavy hitters have showed their true colors by now… or have they?

Also, take my 2008 summer movie survey – you could win an Eastern Promises DVD.

1. The Dark Knight
   I have been waiting with eager anticipation for over a year for the follow-up to the excellent Batman Begins. Christopher Nolan’s original was a classic, and perhaps the best comic book movie of all time, and there’s no reason to expect any less here. The all-star, Oscar-glistening cast is returning, only with an upgrade of talent that includes Maggie Gyllenhaal, Aaron Eckhart and, of course, Heath Ledger as Batman’s arch villain. Many people think Ledger’s performance drove him to death, and from everything the previews indicate, he turns in a remarkable performance. Is July really two months away?
2. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
   Harrison Ford really hasn’t done anything noteworthy in years, so it’s only fitting he returns to one of his most adored roles. The fact that Ford, Lucas and Spielberg have all returned for this fourth film is a good sign, as it’s not just some lame sequel with some crappy director and a youthful actor. Unlike The Dark Knight, I can see expectations surpassing reality here; George Lucas has even commented on that in recent interviews. As long as I keep my excitement toned down, I think I’ll be OK.
3. The X-Files: I Want to Believe
   Who knows if this one will be any good. The X-Files passed its prime many years ago, and fans have pretty much moved on. Then again, maybe this is the perfect time to return to the adored franchise for what is presumably going to be the last movie. I don’t expect this one to make an amazing amount of money in theaters, but it should be an entertaining blast. It’ll definitely be cool to see David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson back together again, and early previews have been promising.
4. Hancock
   A movie that has only begun its marketing blitz, Hancock appears to be the latest Will Smith blockbuster. No one is betting against Smith, as he has a tendency to choose quality (or at least decent) projects that result in a ton of money. This movie, about a drunk-and-bitter “superhero,” looks great, as the trailers perfectly blend humor, action and visual effects together. In a season full of comic book adaptations, Hancock should still emerge as a summer blockbuster – and maybe it will even appeal to a crowd that doesn’t normally swarm to the “standard” comic book flicks.
5. Iron Man
   Speaking of “standard,” Iron Man opens tonight (Thursday) and from the reviews I’ve seen, it’s going to have no problem making tons of money. Reviews have been strong, and it’s really no surprise: the visuals look great, the action intense, the humor plentiful and Robert Downey Jr. in a surprisingly perfect role (playing a cocky, drunken bastard who must redeem himself). The previews have been entertaining and I hope I get a chance to go see this flick tonight.
6. Get Smart
   Rarely do I get that excited for comedies, but Get Smart, starring Steve Carell, Anne Hathaway, The Rock, Terence Stamp and Alan Arkin, looks pretty hilarious. These TV adaptations can be hit-or-miss, but the goofy spy show seems prime for just such a conversion. The previews have been note-on, offering lots of humorous bits and a promise for some silly excitement. Carell and Hathaway both seem like good choices to lead the film, and it’s always entertaining to see The Rock in a comedy such as this.
7. WALL• E
   I have no rule: do not question Pixar, unless they’re making a Cars sequel. Pixar continues to set the benchmark for quality writing, storytelling and visual effects among animated films, if not among films in general. Wall-E looks to continue their trend of exceptional, as the film once again avoids the route of pop culture references, modern songs and marketing big voice talent to present us with a unique story about a robot who lives on Earth long after the last of humanity has disappeared. Not only is the story intriguing, but the visual effects look simply stunning.
8. Hellboy II: The Golden Army
   A couple years ago, only a few fanboys knew who Guillermo Del Toro was. Not anymore. The man took a little known comic book character (a red devil, no less) and made a truly entertaining and high quality action film on a relatively low budget. From there, we got Pan’s Labyrinth, one of the best films I’ve seen in years. And with Del Toro signed on to direct the new Hobbit sequels, demand is at an all-time high. Thankfully, he managed to squeak out a new Hellboy movie while waiting, and hopefully it will be just as good as the original. The previews have not been incredible, though it appears as though the elements were just poorly presented by the marketing department. At least I hope that’s the case.
9. Pineapple Express
   Judd Apatow and Seth Rogen are back, this time in an indie-looking, pot-smoking, crime thriller, about an ordinary guy who witnesses a murder and goes on the run with his drug dealing friend (James Franco). The movie looks substantially different from the recent Apatow films (Knocked Up, Superbad and Forgetting Sarah Marshall), but it still looks good. I like the low-budget look the film has, but the screenplay, once again, should sell this one.
10. The Happening
    M. Night Shyamalan is at it again. Once a sure-thing, Shyamalan has directed two disappointing films in a row. The Village was okay, until the end, but Lady in the Water was just a disaster. Still, I – and several other people – are holding out hope for The Happening, a movie that looks to be more along the lines of Signs than any of his more recent stuff. Can this movie save his career? It’s impossible to tell. All of his films are marketed very well and give very little away, so there’s no way of telling this one will be any better or worse than Lady. Still, it appears as though he has gone a little more conventional this time around, which should be a good thing. “Conventional,” by the way, is used relatively here.
11. Sex and the City: The Movie
    The HBO comedy series really shouldn’t get a movie. It’s just not the kind of show that should get a movie. In fact, the only HBO shows that deserve such treatment are Carnivale and Deadwood, though even those are pushing acceptability (I didn’t say The Sopranos because, like all HBO shows, they succeed because the stories span episodes and seasons, and are not and should not be contained within a single, two-hour time frame). All that being said, Sex and the City was a well-written and entertaining television show, and as such I’m looking forward to the movie. And yes, that’s coming from a 25-year old straight guy.
12. Tropic Thunder
    I’m sort of sick of Ben Stiller, and not only does he star in this movie but he also directs it, but Tropic Thunder just looks like a blast. About a group of actors who unknowingly find themselves involved in real warfare when they are meant to just be filming an action movie, Tropic Thunder has a great comedic cast that includes Jack Black and Robert Downey Jr. Downey, in particular, is a selling point, not only because he is the best actor of the group but because he plays the best actor – ever – in the movie, a man so dedicated to his work that he actually undergoes a controversial surgical procedure to make himself African-American. That alone is worth the price of admission.
13. Son of Rambow
    One of the few films on this list that isn’t receiving a wide release – at least not at first – is the Son of Rambow. What’s better than one Rambo movie in the year? How about two? Son of Rambow is a comedy about a young boy who decides to make his own action movie; the previews are full of stunts-gone-bad and other childhood mishaps. The movie looks touching, but more importantly funny.
14. The Strangers
    OK, so The Strangers will probably suck. It seems to have been pushed back time and time again, which is never a good sign, and has been dropped in the middle of a hornet’s nest – the end of May. Still, with few other horror movies out and about, if any, The Strangers looks pretty creepy. The movie, which stars Liv Tyler, is about a couple who find their house invaded by a bunch of masked intruders. I’m a sucker for movies that could, in theory, happen to me, and it’s not inconceivable that some psychopaths could put on Halloween masks and break into someone’s house. The trailers are effectively scary, and that’s enough for me.
15. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
    Way down in the #15 spot is The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian. The movie looks good. Hell, the movie looks really good. The film is well presented, the story looks darker and more exciting than the first one, so on and so forth. Still, I’m hesitant. The first movie was decent, but a little bland and no Lord of the Rings. The fact that the movie is made for children specifically hurts, especially since the movie is marketed like it’s some kind of gritty war movie. Prince Caspian is rated PG, which means we’re going to get more of the same. I hope that going in with lowered expectations will do the film justice, but I doubt I’m going to come out of the theater raving.
16. Star Wars: The Clone Wars
    Under other circumstances, a Star Wars movie would automatically be in the Top 5 of my list. But, considering that The Clone Wars is an animated movie originally meant for the small screen, I am not that thrilled. The visuals look questionable at best – while I’m sure the action while be find, the characters themselves look quite cartoonish. This alone has me worried. I don’t know why, but I would have been excited for this had it simply premiered on television like it was meant to; there’s something about Star Wars being on another medium that allows me to separate it from the theatrical films. As such, I am worried that this movie is somehow going to ruin the Star Wars experience for me, regardless of the fact that the three prequels were less than stellar to begin with.
17. Wanted
    A clear Matrix wannabe, Wanted shows off just enough visuals, action and Angelina Jolie skin to have me curious. This is one of those movies that is going to end up being ridiculously entertaining or pathetically bad; I don’t see much in between here. James McAvoy and Morgan Freeman also bring some promise to the film, but Wanted still looks like more of a paycheck film than a legitimate, quality picture. Still, I’m curious.
18. You Don’t Mess with the Zohan
    Adam Sandler is back in another goofy comedy, and this one is sure to raise some controversy. The movie is about a Palestinian guy who heads to America to become a hair stylist – but ends up getting involved with some Islamic terrorists. The movie definitely treads on shaky ground, but there are enough laughs in the trailer to have me wanting more. I don’t expect this movie to be among his best, but it shows promise. Then again, so did Chuck and Larry, and that one was terrible.
19. The Incredible Hulk
    Ah, The Incredible Hulk. What can I say? The movie just doesn’t look that good. I’ve never been a big fan of the green “hero,” and the fact that the original movie was forgettable doesn’t help. Still, Ed Norton, one of the best actors working today, has taken on the lead role. Unfortunately, having now seen two different movie trailers, I have yet to be impressed. The visuals look questionable, the direction more so. Those slow motion shots of the Hulk flying through the air? Uh-oh. I am still holding onto an ounce of hope, but compared to the other summer movies, this one is going to sink fast if it isn’t up to par. Hell, it will probably sink fast anyway.
20. The Babysitters
    A movie few will see, The Babysitters is on this list because it’s about a teenage babysitter who starts an escort service. And no, it’s not a porn. The movie promises sex, scandal, crime and possibly more, and that’s enough to get me to add this to my Netflix list.
21. War, Inc.
    John Cusack stars in this movie that is being compared to Grosse Point Blank. I didn’t particularly like that movie, but this is the kind of movie where he thrives, so War, Inc. should not be disregarded. In fact, having just watched the trailer, this movie looks really funny and politically edgy. Why is this #21? Because I’m too lazy to move it higher.
22. The Midnight Meat Train
    Last but not least, there’s this movie. A horror movie that probably won’t be any good, Midnight Meat Train offers a pretty slick and gruesome trailer – and an awesome title. In reality, the title suggests something ridiculously cheesy and the previews show no such things, but other than that, how can I not be excited for a movie called such a thing?

Wow. I’ve been writing for an hour, and as you can tell from the last couple entries, I’ve had enough.

Say what you want about Michael Bay, but the man knows how to cast his females. With Megan Fox, one of the stars of last year’s Transformers movie, topping FHM’s Sexiest Women list, being a young, attractive woman in a Bay film is not a bad career move. Teresa Palmer, best known for her love interest role in December Boys, has been cast in an unknown role in Transformers 2. More than likely, she will end up making out with Fox while Shia LaBeouf watches nervously from afar.

Palmer, pictured here, was set to have a significant role in the now defunct Justice League movie, so she will have to settle for this assured blockbuster. She will also have a role in the upcoming Adam Sandler movie Bedtime Stories.

Teresa Palmer’s casting announcement comes from Courier Mail.

The second independent film I’m featuring this week is The Horror Vault, a cheerful comedy about two young people in love, frolicking in the flowers, snow and gentle summer breeze. Or, maybe, it’s a compilation of several short horror films inspired by Tales from the Crypt, Masters of Horror and Creepshow.

Here is a description of these tales of insanity and terror:

• “When John Met Julia” is a modern twist on Romeo and Juliet, except everything goes a bit wrong…for poor John anyway. Written and directed by Kim Sønderholm, starring Claire Ross-Brown (Love Me Forever, Pistoleros) as Julia and Kim Sønderholm (Craig, Brutal Incasso) as John.
• “Delusion” is a black/white 50ies style of horror drama, directed by Mark Machillo, starring Jonaton Trent (Alone with her, Slaughter, Fashion Victim), Heather Tom (The Bold and The Beautiful, The Young and The Restless) and many others.
• “Alone” is a story about being all alone in a sorority house on a dark night. Written and directed by Kenny Selko, featuring Mandy Amano (Ghosts of Goldfield, Coyote Ugly), Jerod Edington (Ghost Month, E.R) and Guy Nardulli (Jekyll, House M.D).
• “Mental Distortion” is a story about Pete, waking on on his floor, about to do a gruesome find. Directed by Kim Sønderholm who also plays Pete, supported by Maja Muhlack (One Hell Of A Christmas, Westbrick Murders) and Barbara Zatler (Craig, Hellride).
• “Dead To The World” has english actor and director Russ Diaper (Deadly Pursuit, The Demon Within) take a stab at the Ted Bundy legend from a new perspective. In supporting roles are Paul Kelleher (Meatcleaver Massacre, Moonlight Murders) and Joyia Fitch (Midsomer Murders, The Last Hangman).
• “Disconnected” directed by David Boone and Josh Card is a black and white little threat of the absurd – dark humor and crude and explicit torture mixed in one.
• “Echoes” by Gabriel Dowrick, the australian addition about a man, waking up, tied to a bed in what seems to be a nursing home, knowing little of what is going on.
• “The Demon” by Thomas Steen Soerensen is the story about a man chased by his own ghosts and desires, which is about to explode as he picks up a young pretty woman hitchhiking at the side of the road, coming seemingly from nowhere. Or is she?
• Finally, “Retina” by JP Wenner starring Rachel Grubb and Heather Amos, is a black and white and extremely absurd and nihilistic story about… Well – you’re the audience – you decide!

The Horror Vault is arriving on DVD soon, supposedly within the next couple days, and can be purchased at http://www.thehorrorvault.net/

Note: I have not seen The Horror Vault and am merely making readers aware of this release. I cannot speak to whether it’s any good or not, but hopefully it is!

Yes, Scarlett Johansson is replacing Emma Watson in the final Harry Potter movie. Warner Brothers said, “We felt, as Hermione Granger reaches a proper age, that she needed to have more curves and sex appeal. Scarlett brings that to the table.” Reports are also coming in that the ending of the series will be modified: Hermione and Harry will actually end up together, as will Ron and Ginny.

Interesting.

Wait, what? I think I got something wrong here.

Oh. Emma Watson is replacing Scarlett Johansson in Napoleon and Betsy, a film that The Hollywood Reporter says is “a period drama being written and directed by Benjamin Ross.”

The movie is about a British noblewoman (now: young noblewoman) who is trapped on the island of St. Helena, where Napoleon is being kept in exile. She falls in love with the French conquerer.

Watson is replacing Johansson because, apparently, the role has skewed younger, making it more appropriate for the 18-year old Harry Potter star to be cast as Betsy rather than a luscious vixen who is known for her sex appeal. Of course, Johansson is only 24 years old (younger than me!).

Personally, I have to wonder if Emma Watson is going to end up becoming hotter than Scarlett Johansson. She has a different look, certainly, but she’s quite a looker. I feel comfortable saying this now that Ms. Watson is of age.

Every once in a while, I receive a request to review or feature an independently produced film that has been made. I don’t have a time to review a bunch of movies that will probably never be seen by the vast majority of my readers, but after receiving several requests in the last week, I figured I’d do some quick blog posts about them. I’m probably opening a can of worms here, but I figured I’d give these films some free PR. Note that I haven’t seen this movie so am making no statement about how good it is, but I respect independent filmmaker’s attempts to promote their movies.

Nemesis is about a rapper who isn’t actually a rapper. I’m not huge into street films or rapper films, but Nemesis has a pretty neat concept: a young man rises to fame as a rapper named Nemesis, but his name, street creed and everything else is fictionalized. A creation of the record label with the sole purpose to sell records, the man now known as Nemesis finds himself in an awkward position. To sell records, he must prove his badassedness, but to do so, the record label fabricates a feud between him and his childhood friend. As the feud spirals out of control, the young rapper must make a tough decision as to whether he should continue doing what he’s doing or give up this false persona that is causing so much harm.

I described the movie pretty poorly, I think, but you can read the full synopsis here.

So the movie has an interesting twist to the rise-to-fame-street-thug model, though what probably interests me the most is actress Suzie Abromeit (pictured here). She’s… quite good looking.

I’m starting to feel and sound like a bitter old man. Nothing seems to please me of late, other than driving around Green Lake in Seattle and admiring all of the beautiful female joggers that were out in storm today. So, maybe it’s just me, but does the new title for the new X-Files movie suck or what? And when I say “suck,” I mean really, really suck?

The new X-Files 2 title is The X-Files: I Want to Believe. I don’t care if it’s a theme in the show or what not, but I Want to Believe is just a stupid, stupid, stupid name for a movie. Maybe it could work for some kind of kid’s movie about a little girl and her pony who goes to Heaven, but as the title for a sci-fi horror-thriller? No, thank you.

Any movie title, especially one belonging to a sequel, that contains a colon in it should have the ability to be referred to by it’s subtitle. Are you going to say, “I’m going to go see The X-Files: I Want to Believe?” No. Are you going to say, “I’m going to go see I Want to Believe?” No, unless you’re mocking the title. What are you going to say? “I’m watching X-Files 2, biotch!” The thing is, movies with subtitles should be able to be referred to by said subtitle and not sound corny as Hell. The Phantom Menace? Revenge of the Sith? Attack of the Clones? OK, maybe that last one shouldn’t be used as an example.

My point is… I Want to Believe is just a really lame title. I love The X-Files, but Chris Carter has made a laughably bad marketing move here that could hurt the movie’s broad appeal.

And please don’t write back, “But 3:10 to Yuma has a colon in it!” You know what I mean.

I’m sorry, but does Speed Racer look like one of the worst movies ever conceived to you? Every time I see a trailer or a commercial or an email or an article about the movie, I cringe. Those poor saps who work at the movie theaters where the commercials are playing on the overhead TVs day in and day out must be on the verge of suicide.

Speed Racer just looks dreadful. I’m no box office expert, and as such I’m not entirely good at predicting how well films will make, but I will be shocked if this film is profitable. I will be highly disappointed if the movie doesn’t flop miserably, though I am trying to not say “shocked” for that result as well. After all, the American public is an unpredictable bunch and can be duped into going to see some pretty bad movies – and I, among them, will certainly go see this picture just to see how God-awful it really is. Still, even with my hesitations that this movie could make some decent money, I will still be pretty surprised if there is a large group of people out there who are eagerly awaiting this film. The special effects look dreadful, the action no better than that from a cheap cartoon and the acting lackluster at best (despite featuring a talented cast).

I’m really starting to think that the Wachowski Brothers are one-hit wonders. The Matrix was phenomenal and trend-setting. The Matrix Reloaded, while overall pretty decent, wasn’t anything great. The Matrix Revolution was plain-out bad at times. And now Speed Racer???

Please tell me if you actually think Speed Racer looks good, and why? Without even seeing this movie I want it to flop so badly, and I have this tingling feeling in my gut that suggests it may actually do so.

OK, so in the American version of The Descent, Sarah, the lead character, scrambles up a bone-filled hill, crawls through a hole and escapes the cave where the monsters who killed all her friends dwell. She runs through the forest like a crazy woman, gets in her car and drives away. Once she is far enough away, she pulls over to the side of the road to catch her breath, sees her friend as a “ghost”, and then realizes it is just a hallucination. Ultimately, she survives. End of story.

However, in the original British version, that is not the end of the story. She does not escape the cave. Her escape, her frantic jeep drive and her stopping on the side of the road to catch her breath is just a figment of her imagination. Ultimately, she is still in the cave – miles underground – and the Crawlers are closing in. End of story. Presumably she doesn’t survive.

Now comes the interesting development of the week: The Descent 2 is coming to theaters at some point, presumably in 2009.  Don’t get me wrong – I’m looking forward to this. The Descent is one of the best monster movies I’ve seen in a long time and features some of the coolest, scariest creatures ever, perhaps since Alien. When I first saw this movie (the American version) in theaters, I was huddled up against my friend half the movie – and I don’t scare easily.

Still, how will The Descent 2 work? American audiences who have only seen the theatrical version will be able to shrug it off, but everyone else will be left scratching their heads when Sarah returns. And, according to the synopsis on Comingsoon.net, Sarah does return:

Picking up from where the last movie left off, Sarah (Shauna Macdonald) escapes the cave and seeks refuge at a local gas station, where she collapses and is rushed to a local hospital. Not being able to speak because of the horrific events that have mentally scarred her, a search and rescue team take Sarah back to where the horrible events happened to find any possible answers and survivors. However, whilst down in the cave…things don’t go to plan as the group fight for their lives against the crawlers and find an unexpected survivor from the last film.

Now, I have to presume that most American audiences have seen the British version by now, since most people only saw the movie on DVD. If you haven’t, you should! But regardless, isn’t it a bit weird to have a sequel begin with a main character who was killed in the first one?

And this, folks, is why you don’t change endings for different audiences.