Movies

Suicide Girls Must Die!, the world’s first reality horror movie (according to the tag line on the DVD cover, though I tend to believe it), is coming to DVD on June 29! We’re giving away three DVD copies of the unique movie, and also have posted an exclusive video clip from the film.

When twelve nude models from the infamous SuicideGirls.com begin disappearing from a remote cabin, the calendar video they are shooting becomes the first reality horror movie. Suicide Girls Must Die! is a blend of black humor and unnerving horror – with no actors and no script – it’s all true. Except for the killings of course, but the girls don’t know that! It is a scantily clad hellride that will leave you in stitches.

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Many people face tough decisions in life, and I feel for them. I really do. Well, I don’t, but for argument’s sake, I do. And then there’s Michael Fassbender, who is facing a quandary of epic proportions. I mean, I can’t imagine what the man is going through right now, torn, divided and downright ravished. Don’t you feel for him, too?

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Bad news for fans anticipating the upcoming Lord of the Rings prequel The Hobbit: director Guillermo Del Toro has quit the production and will not direct the two-part movie series.

“In light of ongoing delays in the setting of a start date for filming The Hobbit, I am faced with the hardest decision of my life,” del Toro said. “After nearly two years of living, breathing and designing a world as rich as Tolkien’s Middle Earth, I must, with great regret, take leave from helming these wonderful pictures.”

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Shrek Forever After – the fourth Shrek movie – comes to theaters this Friday, and no one cares.

After Shrek and Shrek 2 proved to be critical successes (Shrek 2 was better than the first one, in my opinion), DreamWorks spent the few years leading up to 2007 creating the atrocity that was Shrek the Third, which was a perfect example of a movie gone horribly, horribly run. Recycling old jokes and delivering new flat ones, Shrek the Third was painfully unfunny… but it still made a lot of money. That, combined with the fact Mike Myers’ career has flatlined after one too many bad accents, means that the green ogre is back for what looks like another not-so-funny adventure.

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Daybreakers, the modest hit from early January (modest meaning that it earned $30 million in the U.S. against a $20 million budget), bites its way onto DVD and Blu-Ray this Tuesday, bringing with it a clever idea, questionable writing and an impressive making-of featurette. For vampire fans, Daybreakers, despite its shortcomings, may be worth owning – as long as you can get past the fact that, by and large, the movie is downright bad.

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James Cameron really likes oceans. Have you noticed that? And in Avatar 2, we’re going to see much more of the oceans and less of the jungle, if Mr. Cameron has anything to say about it. And since he can say just about anything about Avatar 2 and do it, we have to believe him. Here’s what he had to say about the Avatar sequel:

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Those looking forward to Batman 3D may have to dress up in their living rooms to see anything resembling the third dimension, as cinematographer Wally Pfister, who shot both Batman Begins and The Dark Knight, recently told Cinematical that Batman 3 likely won’t be shot in 3D.

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The Meryl Streep/Alec Baldwin/Steve Martin romantic comedy It’s Complicated arrives on DVD and Blu-Ray this coming Tuesday, April 27, 2010. The modest hit, from director Nancy Meyers, is about a divorced woman (Streep) who starts an affair with her ex-husband (Baldwin), who is married to a much younger knock-out (Lake Bell). At the same time, she has begun to date her nerdy but entertaining architect (Martin).

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Here’s the craziest story of the day: Leonard Nimoy is retiring from acting, but he’s not going to go peacefully into the night. Nimoy is going to take a stab at amateur-level mixed martial arts (MMA).

OK, that second part isn’t true. Leonard Nimoy is retiring from acting, but he presumably is going to sit back and dream of all the Trekkies who will spend the next fifty years arguing who the better Spock is. Here’s what the famed actor had to say:

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Everyone knows that M. Night Shyalaman’s last two movies have sucked big time, so there’s a lot riding on his latest film The Last Airbender, which is apparently the first of a trilogy. I recently read an article at a respectable website where the one of the authors was describing The Last Airbender as his most anticipated movie of the summer. Really. Really?

The Last Airbender – and here’s my professional opinion – will be the bomb of the summer. It will make some money, perhaps even a respectable amount, but it cannot possibly live up to whatever wild expectations there are of the film. Because, apparently, there are expectations for the film.

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Didn’t have time to track all the movie news over the last week? Here’s a snapshot of some of the most interesting stories:

• Due to a scheduling conflict, Bryan Singer is no longer attached to direct X-Men: First Class. He will instead serve as producer. The likelihood of the movie being any good has just been reduced.
• Did anyone ask for an Eastern Promises 2? Director David Cronenberg, writer Steven Knight and actor Viggo Mortensen are allegedly reuniting to do a sequel to the 2007 Naomi Watts thriller, where Mortensen played an undercover cop in the Russian mob.

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If anyone didn’t know DreamWork’s How to Train Your Dragon came out this weekend, you clearly haven’t watched television in the last two months. The unprecedented marketing blitz during the Olympics – including controversial product placement tied in with the sports broadcasts themselves – was rather overwhelming and, in my opinion, off-putting. It doesn’t help that the movie just didn’t look that good. Regardless, the marketing expenses for this family film had to be huge – and How to Train Your Dragon didn’t open huge.

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Comedy, typically, is my least favorite genre, but that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy a good, funny movie. The problem in 2009 was that there just weren’t very many funny movies. The Hangover was great, but the funniest movie of the year? Yes, in 2009. In other years… maybe not. And dramedies like Away We Go, while extremely funny, isn’t what most people would consider a top comedy. Then there’s Up – a kid’s movie, a great movie, but a truly hilarious movie? That being said, I dare you to list funnier movies that were released in 2009.

Without further ado, here are the funniest movies of 2009…

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2012 is one of those movies I approached with trepidation. After all, we’ve seen director Roland Emmerich attempt to destroy the world on several occasions in the past (Independence Day, The Day After Tomorrow), and 2012 – the destruction movie to end all destruction movies – was bound to be just a graphics-heavy onslaught of… well, graphics.

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Fans have been asking for it for years, and finally their wishes are coming true. Reuters is reporting that Robert De Niro and Martin Scorsese are teaming up yet again to do a gangster movie.

Having watched Robert De Niro’s career devolve into what can only be described as forgettable roles in forgettable movies, people have been saying: Why the hell doesn’t he do another gangster movie? At the very least, team up with Scorsese – one of the most consistent directors of our time – with whom he collaborated to deliver some of the best movies of the 20th century, including Mean Streets, Taxi Driver, Raging Bull, Goodfellas and Cape Fear.

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