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The FilmJabber Movie Blog

I Love Armond White

Or hate him. Actually, yes, I hate him and I don’t even know him. My roommate referred me to a name today spelled as “Armond White,” having looked at the 2% of critics who said The Wrestler, one of the best movies of 2008, wasn’t worth a fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Thus, we were […]

New Movie Promo Trailer: Crank 2

Jason Statham returns in the sequel no one wanted: Crank: High Voltage. In the movie, hitman Chev Chelios’ (Statham) launches himself on an electrifying chase through Los Angeles in pursuit of the Chinese mobster who has stolen his nearly indestructible heart. How Chev comes back to life after falling out of an airplane is anyone’s […]

The Dumbest Movie Moments of 2008

Yahoo!Movies posted a great list today of the dumbest movie moments of 2008. Their #1 spot goes to the “Nuking the Fridge” moment in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, which I have to admit is one of the most embarrassing and deflating moments in cinematic history. Why does Spielberg have the […]

UPS is Holding My Package Hostage!

It was Christmas last week, though one wouldn’t know it. In Seattle, we had record, if not at least near-record snowfalls over the last week and a half, essentially crippling the roads with snow and ice that most Seattle drivers have no clue how to handle. Hell, two buses nearly slid off a 50-foot drop-off […]

30 Movies to See in 2009

2009 is almost upon us, and with it comes another year of hopeful movies looking to stretch the box office, entertain audiences and, in most cases, also appeal to critics. Some will exceed expectations, and some will fail miserably. It’s impossible to tell at such an early stage, but here are 25 movies that one […]

Disney Drops Narnia 3 Like a Bad Habit

Following the so-so box office results for The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, Walt Disney had decided to pull out of distributing for the upcoming The Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader. The Hollywood Reporter says, “Disney and Walden Media confirmed Tuesday that for budgetary and logistical reasons the Burbank-based studio is not […]

Seahawks Win Two in a Row! Against Bret Favre!

I’m a pretty diehard Seahawks fan, but with the way the season has turned out this year, I’m glad I only ended up going to three games this year. I went to their first win, against the St. Louis Rams, and then to a close loss against our arch rivals, the Arizona Cardinals. And I […]

DVD Review: Eagle Eye

Eagle Eye is the perfect B-grade thriller, a fast-paced, excited and well budgeted picture with quality acting and enough chaos to satisfy most fans. It is also ridiculous at times, forcing you to stretch your imagination far beyond what you expected. Still, if you accept that, the movie is pretty damn entertaining. The 2-Disc Special […]

Marketing Failure: Who Heard of Delgo?

Delgo, as many people have heard by now, is the biggest flop in cinematic history. Costing over $40 million, the animated adventure film opened on 2,160 screens… and took in $511,920 over the weekend. Total. That comes out to a whopping $237 per theater, or, if you assume that most people went and saw this […]

DVD Review: Burn After Reading (2008)

Of all the films to be released in 2008, Burn After Reading is one of the more divisive of the group. Some people loved the movie, some hated it, and a few, like me, were somewhere in the middle. It’s definitely a picture of extremes, as the humor and rather aimless story went right over […]

NBC’s Heroes Returning to Better, Simpler Times?

If you’re like me, and I’m sure the majority is, Heroes isn’t nearly as good as it was in its first season. The writing has deteriorated, the characters have become too complicated, and the stories muddled. I’m not too the point where I’d stop watching, but the thought has crossed my mind once or twice. […]

Movie Review: Van Damme’s In Hell on DVD

I received a copy of In Hell in the mail this last week, as the 2003 direct-to-DVD Jean-Claude Van Damme is being re-released in a new limited edition. Why such a film deserves a re-release only a few years later is beyond me, but then again, it gave me the opportunity to watch this incredible, […]

The Golden Globes Prove They’re Stupid

We’ve known it for years. We even talk about it: The Golden Globes are stupid. They’re like an elementary version of the Oscars, a way for lesser films to earn awards that would never win Oscars. Yes, the Golden Globes are considered a precursor to the Oscars, and often help in predicting what will be […]

Michael Crichton’s Death Kills Jurassic Park 4

Jurassic Park 4 is dead, long live Jurassic Park. With the death of popular author Michael Crichton a few weeks back, producers Frank Marshall and Kathleen Kennedy announced that the movie, which has been in development hell for years, is officially dead. So said Kennedy: “No… I don’t know. You know, when Crichton passed away, […]

Terminator: Salvation Movie Trailer: Forgiveness for McG?

As Kirk would say, I will never forgive McG for the making of Charlie’s Angels 2. At least, I haven’t yet. Charlie’s Angels 2 was one of the worst movies ever made, highlighted by horrid special effects and painful direction. Complemented by the fact that I am repulsed by anyone who would go by the […]
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