You know you’re in trouble when the best line of dialogue in an entire movie is a Jay Z quote. Then again, I don’t know if I was in trouble. The new G.I. Joe: Retaliation is leaps and bounds better than its predecessor, with fast-paced action sequences and the charisma of The Rock pulsing through every scene, but it’s also absurd, absurdly absurd and fucking ridiculously absurd. Whether that’s good or bad… I just don’t know.
Read our full G.I. Joe: Retaliation movie review.
The movie trailer for Steven Soderbergh’s alluring new movie is online. Side Effects is about Emily and Martin (Rooney Mara and Channing Tatum), a successful New York couple whose world unravels when a new drug prescribed by Emily’s psychiatrist (Jude Law) – intended to treat anxiety – has unexpected side effects.
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I just watched a Channing Tatum stripper movie. By myself. In a theater. And I sort of kind of I’ve got to admit liked it. Let me rephrase. I just watched a new Steven Soderbergh drama. And it was good.
Read FilmJabber’s full Magic Mike movie review.
Actually sort of based on a true story, The Vow stars Channing Tatum and Rachel McAdams as Leo and Paige, a married couple who face a horrible reality: after getting in a car crash, she can’t remember the last several years of her life, including her husband or their marriage. Let’s just say Leo spends a lot of time sleeping on the couch. And that Paige can never get on his case if he ever forgets an anniversary.
Read FilmJabber’s full The Vow movie review.
Stephen Soderbergh’s experimental action film Haywire packs punch and an exceptional cast, but there is a reason why action movies are done a certain way. While some of the director’s techniques work, others fall flat, resulting in an entertaining but far-from-groundbreaking film.
Read FilmJabber’s full Haywire movie review.
Just when you think Channing Tatum’s career is on the downturn, he cranks out 21 Jump Street, a critical and financial hit that ensures the sometimes-cardboard actor has a franchise on his hands. And don’t forget Jonah Hill, who, hot off his Oscar-nominated performance in Moneyball, co-stars in this funny if sometimes obnoxious action-comedy.
Read FilmJabber’s full 21 Jump Street movie review.
This dynamic action-thriller Haywire, directed by Oscar® winner Steven Soderbergh (Contagion), opens in theaters everywhere Friday! The movie boasts a talented cast that includes Channing Tatum (GI Joe: Rise of the Cobra), Ewan McGregor (The Ghost Writer), Michael Fassbender (X-Men: First Class), Antonio Banderas (The Legend of Zorro), Bill Paxton (“Big Love”), Michael Douglas (Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps), Michael Angarano (Almost Famous); and introduces mixed martial arts (MMA) superstar Gina Carano as Mallory Kane, in a demanding lead role that has her performing her own high-adrenaline stunts.
We’re giving away a Haywire prize pack - enter to win today!
Another cop drama, another Channing Tatum movie. Another film where Al Pacino wastes his talent. It’s The Son of No One, a movie that no one needs to watch. The very definition of mediocre, The Son of No One is neither offensive nor captivating. It’s a movie that exists simply to exist, to offer nothing of substance while still eating up an hour and a half of viewers’ time.
Read FilmJabber’s full The Son of No One movie review.
Though the genre was submitted to the historical archives several years ago, Roman era-based action dramas continue to rear their ugly heads, typically with much lower budgets and B-grade actors. Such is the case with Focus Features’ The Eagle, a valiant but ultimately futile effort.
Read FilmJabber’s full The Eagle movie review.
Is a comedy a comedy if there are no jokes? Is a comedy a comedy if no one laughs? These questions are the unintended side effects of Ron Howard’s The Dilemma, the Vince Vaughn/Kevin James “something” that was recently released to DVD.
Read FilmJabber’s full The Dilemma movie review.
Some people are excited for 2009′s action movie G.I. Joe. After all, the movie is based on one of the most popular and iconic television shows of the 1980′s. There are millions of fanboys drooling over the release of this film (Garth, you reading?). And, other than the fact U.S. foreign policy is hated by most countries right now (the movie rectifies this by making G.I. Joe an international task force), a movie such as this is prime for the making.
However, you do realize G.I. Joe is going to suck, right? And when I say “suck”, I mean you are going to want to stick a vacuum cleaner inside your own skull and suck whatever remnants of your brain you have left. It’s going to be that bad.
Yes, the G.I. Joe movie is being directed by Stephen Sommers. This is old news, but as more and more casting developments emerge (Channing Tatum as Duke, Arnold Vosloo as Zartan), I finally realized who was masterminding the film. Sommers isn’t Uwe Boll, of course, but in terms of influence, power and reach, he is much, much worse. Unlike Uwe Boll’s films, which are terrible beyond belief but generally make a few million dollars in sales before disappearing into the night, Stephen Sommers movies actually make a ton of money.
Still holding out hope? Let me remind you that Stephen Sommers directed The Mummy. Okay, that one wasn’t that bad, if you like mindless entertainment. But he also directed The Mummy Returns, which is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Disagree with me on that? Tell me you liked the ending, where Brenden Fraser escapes the sandstorm and the little monkey mummies via a crude airship that showed up out nowhere to unleash upon the audience some of the most terrible special effects of the modern blockbuster. Come on, tell me you liked that ending! (if you did, I shake my head in pity) Oh, and Stephen Sommers also directed Van Helsing, another disaster of an action film that also featured some pretty lousy special effects.
And they put this man in charge of G.I. Joe, one of your childhood favorites. I feel your pain, I really do, but yes, G.I. Joe is going to suck big time.
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