Posts Tagged ‘g.i. joe movie’

Hi, my name is Stephen Sommers and I’m the director of the drama called G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra. I’ve been making movies since 1989, and in that time my goal has been to win an Oscar for Best Director. Or win a Razzie. I have yet to win either because Hollywood just doesn’t understand my sophisticated storytelling techniques or complex, layered characters. They just don’t understand. But audiences love my movies. They told me The Mummy was good, so I made a sequel. That movie made a lot of money, so I learned that people like ridiculous plots with terrible special effects. That’s how I came to make Van Helsing, one of the most celebrated films of this generation.

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OK, maybe the 2009 Speed Racer award goes to Terminator Salvation, but that’s perhaps a bit unfair as that movie will at least make $100 million. G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra however… God, may you bless humanity and urge everyone not to see this movie.

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