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Angel Eyes movie poster

Angel Eyes Movie Review

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Jennifer Lopez tried to break new ground in last year's The Cell, but this year it looks like she is going for the more traditional approach, taking up an overused formula and trying to market it as new stuff with a slightly intriguing plot. The result ends up being that Angel Eyes is much worse than all of the other movies she has been in, excluding Anaconda, which is pretty hard to beat.

Lopez (or J-Lo, as she prefers to be called now for some stupid reason) is a cop who in the beginning tries to save a man who is in a car accident. It is not clear whether he lives or dies, but a year passes and Lopez is still on the streets, fighting crime. While pursuing a shooter, she is almost killed, but a mysterious man who called himself Catch saves her. He's a little strange, but she finds him interesting, and their relationship escalates, but she still knows nothing about him.

Those of you who saw the previews for Angel Eyes should listen to this next paragraph as I clarify a few falsities. First off, this is by no means an action film. There are a few very brief scenes of crime, but that is about it. Second off, the movie has nothing to do with ghosts. While the previews imply that there is something overtly spiritual about the relationship, like Catch is a ghost, the opposite is actually the truth. There is nothing having to do with ghosts, and while that might ruin the story for some, I'm just trying to save the disappointment. For the most part, Angel Eyes is a chick flick, and I mean a real chick flick. There are a few funny scenes but that is about it; the rest is boring, emotional sap that will put any guy in the theater to sleep.

The first half of the movie is remotely interesting, as we are not sure what Catch (Jim Caveziel) is. He acts really strangely, seems to like helping people, and otherwise does not have much of a life. As the relationship escalates, Lopez has no clue that he was in a car accident, but we, the audience, do. The question is: Does he have amnesia, is he just forcing everything into the back of his mind, or is he already dead? The logical answer would be that he is already dead, since that would be the most captivating and that is what the previews imply, but that is not the case. It is something else, and is very disappointing.

As you can see, I've already jumped out of the first half of the movie. I apologize if I have ruined the movie for people, but there is really nothing to ruin. Most of the scenes are sappy emotional segments where the characters question each other and then forgive each other. There is another storyline about Lopez reuniting with her father who did something bad in the past. Angel Eyes is telling two different stories and does not do a good job at either one.

What puts salt in the wound is that both the two starring actors deliver the worst performances of their career. Lopez does not pull off the tough cop very well, resorting to saying, "Shut the fuck up" over and over again. As for Caveziel, who was great in The Thin Red Line and Frequency, is about as bad as anyone can get. He picks the pace up in the end, but for the most part acts dumb and non-sensible. To cap everything off, I found no chemistry between the two stars, and Angel Eyes needs the chemistry to make itself work at all.

Unfortunately, it does not. There is nothing original about Angel Eyes, and it is one of the most boring films I have seen in a long time. This could end up being the most boring movie of the summer, quite possibly. Skip Angel Eyes with all your heart, because it will make your heart freeze from boredom.

Review by Erik Samdahl unless otherwise indicated.

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