Bones Movie Review
Snoop Dogg is gaunt, tall, and pretty creepy looking, so it is only logical that he play a supernatural killer in a horror movie, right? Okay, so maybe not, but in Bones he is Jimmy Bones, a drug lord who was killed twenty years ago and has now returned to wreak revenge on those who killed him. If it sounds like a bad version of The Crow, you're right.
In the day, Jimmy Bones was a nice enough fellow. Sure, he worked with drugs, but he kept his neighborhood in pristine order. So now, twenty years later, he wants to kill those who murdered him (or at least were forced to help along with it), but he also does away with some other unsuspecting individuals who really have nothing to do with his ordeal. If that doesn't make sense, then you're thinking the same thing as I am.
Looked at from all viewpoints, Bones is really not as bad as I expected it to be. It's still pretty bad, but it's not terrible, and there are some fun moments. Some of the main characters are likeable, the story isn't that bad, and Snoop Dogg isn't in it a whole lot, but...
First off, the graphics are awful. The movie looks like it was made in the early '80's, at the peak of the B-grade horror film. Whoever designed the blood obviously has only seen it done in black and white movies before, because it looks terribly fake, and when it comes to horror movies, blood is essential.
Second, the acting isn't wonderful. It isn't horrible, but it isn't wonderful, either.
Third, the script has its flaws. Snoop Dogg's lines are quite bad, and several of the characters are given some really cheesy one-liners. Again, the motive behind the killings doesn't really make sense.
Bones isn't God-awful, but it isn't scary, it isn't well-written, and it definitely needed a budget over 100 dollars. It has some fun moments, but I'd much rather watch The Crow, which, though not nearly the same movie, has a slightly similar plot with much better results.
Review by Erik Samdahl unless otherwise indicated.