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Out Cold Movie Review

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The teen comedy wave crested and crashed about a year ago, but for some reason these movies keep coming out. Fall 2001's example is Out Cold, a snowboarding comedy with lots of beer and not much else. It has a lot of shortcomings, but nevertheless manages to be slightly entertaining... slightly.

I, along with everyone else who has seen this movie, knew what to expect. You can't expect much from a teen comedy with a bunch of no-names, except Jason London, who you may remember from "Party of Five" and The Rage: Carrie 2. Yes, he's well known. So anyway, I figured Out Cold to be nothing more than harmless fun, and, for the most part, I was right. Unfortunately, it wasn't quite as good as my roommate made it out to be (maybe he needs to reexamine what he considers to be good movies... he also liked Behind Enemy Lines, not to mention Blast from the Past. Heaven forbid).

The movie doesn't have much plot, except that a bunch of local young men who work for the ski "resort" have to deal with the fact that their town is going to be turned into a tourist's haven after a wealthy guy from Colorado buys the mountain. There is also some romantic conflicts somewhere in the story, but they really didn't make sense and weren't very interesting, either. London is supposedly attracted to one of the few women in the area, who is also attracted to him, but he is still attached to a girl he knew for a few days down in Cancun. So, he likes two girls at the same time and the movie doesn't try to hard to explain things.

As far as comedy goes, Out Cold relies pretty much on situational stuff, though it does throw in a few pretty funny lines of dialogue, mainly from Zach Galifianakis, who really is the only entertaining character in this whole mess. Mostly, the funniest parts come from what the characters do to Galifianakis, like spin him around in a car while he is drunk, or coerce a polar bear to give him a blowjob. That kind of high brow kind of stuff. Unfortunately, nothing lasts forever, and the humorous elements of Out Cold die out after the first half hour or so. The next hour is just mildly entertaining, enough to keep me watching but not enough to want me to come back for seconds.

The cheesiness of the film can only be handled for so long, and then it just gets boring. Everything climaxes at... the climax, where the locals decide to retake the mountain from the evil new owner. This scene looks like something out of that God-awful kids' movie Snow Day, as these characters, all people in their twenties, snowboard through town and destroy things. The owner ends up in an upside down port-o-potty, and that's been done before.

Aside from the cheesiness of the whole affair, my main problem with Out Cold was its rating. This thing is rated PG-13, but that's only because the producers realized what a dumb movie they had in their hands so they tried to cut out parts to get more people to see it. You can tell by the number of butt shots in this movie that it was originally aiming for an R, and it is most obvious in the Jacuzzi scene, where a very attractive woman (Victoria Silvstedt) goes topless and basically flashes the screen, but it is cut just right to avoid R-nudity. Frankly, in a movie like this, I want more sex. Let's face it; the majority of people that are going to see this movie are going to be guys, and guys want nudity and sex. When a movie is as dumb as Out Cold is, morals should be forgotten and there should be at least some sex. The female lead (A.J. Cook) is quite attractive, and, though the semi-romantic interest of London, doesn't have much more than a kiss in the movie. The other woman in the movie (Caroline Dhavernas) also is good-looking, but she is equally left out of any "intriguing" moments. What gives?

Out Cold isn't boring, but it isn't overly entertaining, either. When all is said and done, Out Cold is out cold. I couldn't think of anything more clever to say, but for a movie like this, I really don't need to waste my time thinking of something.

Review by Erik Samdahl unless otherwise indicated.

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