The Return movie poster
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The Return movie poster

The Return Movie Review

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Apparently upset that she was quickly killed off in The Grudge 2, Sarah Michelle Gellar turns to another crappy horror film, The Return, which is hardly a horror film at all. The Return, as it turns out, is a return to countless other horror-thrillers before it, most of which suck for the exact same reason.

Gellar plays Joanna Mills, a troubled young woman who, for her entire life, has had horrifying nightmares of another woman's murder. After returning home, she stops in a small hick town, only to realize that this town is where the source of her visions lie. However, as she gets closer and closer to the truth, and her hallucinations become more and more horrifying, she finds that certain people don't want her to discover what really happened.

As you can tell from the synopsis, The Return has the exact same plot as dozens of other films. Someone, typically a woman, is thought to be crazy as she sees visions of a horrifying crime, and her visions eventually lead to a murder sometime in the past and the murderer himself. Think Gothika, starring Halle Berry (which wasn't very good, either). Even The Ring has a similar story - although that one was actually sort of scary.

And that's the real problem. Sure, The Return has no point. You know exactly how it's going to end five minutes into the picture. You've seen it all before, and you've seen it done better. But the real problem is that the movie just isn't scary. There isn't a frightening moment in the whole movie. Gellar runs around from one conflict to the next without any real purpose, and looks more confused than scared most of the time.

The Return makes The Grudge 2 look like an Oscar-winner. If Gellar is going to continue to do horror movies, she might as well do a Buffy movie, because right now she is just digging her career deeper and deeper into a hole.

Review by Erik Samdahl unless otherwise indicated.

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