Texas Chainsaw 3D Movie Review
Leatherface is back, and oh boy. Texas Chainsaw 3D is the worst kind of horror movie: a movie so bad it goes beyond being funny bad back to just being bad. At least the filmmakers were clever enough to do something new and remove "massacre" from the title.
This orgy of awfulness is a far cry from the 2003 Jessica Biel remake that rejuvenated the franchise, which took an enthusiastic look at the creepy Sawyer family and introduced a new generation to the ultimate hipster, Leatherface. In this new movie, which is "directed" by John Luessenhop, all the energy, creativity and fun is cut from the film, leaving a bloody, dead carcass in its place.
Set in modern day, Texas Chainsaw 3D stars a new cast of young somethings who drive around in an old Volkswagon van because this is a movie and the filmmakers probably couldn't afford anything newer. A girl named Heather (Alexandra Daddario) drags her friends to a mansion that she has inherited, unaware that it holds a dude who would like to wear her friends' faces. How he survives locked in the basement is anyone's guess, but that's just one of the many befuddling things that occur in this movie.
Plot is really not the problem, however. As a horror film, Texas Chainsaw 3D is as generic as they come, with unimaginative death scenes, dull gore and a complete lack of tension. The characters get picked off one by one as you'd expect, which is fine, but Luessenhop fails to inject any sense of suspense, excitement or other kind of emotional stimuli to make anyone care.
And the ending... oh boy. What oh what were the filmmakers thinking? Texas Chainsaw 3D has one of the dumbest endings in the history of horror films, and fans of the franchise will shake their heads in disgust.
Texas Chainsaw 3D is a truly dreadful film, one so bad that the only way to keep this franchise going is, once again, a fresh reboot. I'd say watch it if you dare, but I wouldn't dare my worst enemy to suffer through this bloody mess.
Review by Erik Samdahl unless otherwise indicated.