When you've come to the conclusion that you should walk out on a movie approximately 76 seconds after the opening credits, you know you're in for a world of hurt. The Three Stooges does a great job of capturing the humor and giddiness of the three classic characters. Unfortunately, their humor has been obsolete for 80 years.
When it was first announced that Bobby and Peter Farrelly were working on a Three Stooges movie, the collective response from fanboys was ‘why?' However, the cast that was originally attached to the project - Sean Penn, Jim Carrey and Benicio Del Toro - added some intrigue. But after they dropped out and were eventually replaced with Sean Hayes, Will Sasso and Chris Diamantopoulos, any remaining interest for the film waned.
In hindsight, hiring three shrug-worthy actors was the best thing Twentieth Century Fox, because it means they won't lose nearly as much money on this movie that no one asked for in the first place.
The Three Stooges is as idiotic, slapstick and annoying as "The Three Stooges" are meant to be. In that regard, the Farrelly brothers did things right. Where the filmmakers should be faulted - and, ultimately, the studio - is that they thought anyone would want to watch three idiotic, slapstick and annoying characters for 90 minutes.
After a few minutes of eye pokes, head bonks and hair pulls, fully equipped with exaggerated sound effects, you'll have had enough. No one in the entire theater laughed for the first 15 minutes, literally. I chuckled once during a bit where Larry David, playing a nun, gets knocked unconscious repeatedly, but that's about it.
I walked out after about an hour. I had another screening to get to, and I wanted to get some dinner. And the movie showed no signs of improving. The sad part... I walked out before the Kate Upton ‘nunkini' scene. And where Moe eyepokes Snooki.
At least I can see those scenes in the trailer, which is universally funnier than the movie itself. Not that I want to watch the trailer again, but it is telling. "The Three Stooges" were always meant to be seen in short doses, not a feature length movie. They were also meant to be seen decades earlier, when they were actually funny.
The Three Stooges is a failed experiment to resurrect characters whose time has long past. I'd rather get eye-poked, head-bonked and hair-pulled a thousand times before watching another minute of this movie.
Review by Erik Samdahl unless otherwise indicated.
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