The Whole Ten Yards (2004) - Movie Review

The Whole Nine Yards was an enjoyable and simple mobster comedy, but that does not entitle it to a sequel. The Whole Ten Yards, which reunites the cast consisting of Bruce Willis, Matthew Perry, Amanda Peet, Natasha Henstridge and Kevin Pollak, is one of the most unnecessary sequels ever made - and it doesn't even do it in good fashion.

At the end of the original, Oz (Perry), the loveable, clumsy and wimpy dentist had faked the dental records of Jimmy the Tulip (Willis) so that the ex-assassin could live his life in peace with Oz's ex-dental assistant, Jill (Peet). Meanwhile, Oz married Cynthia (Henstridge), Jimmy's ex-wife. Everything was wrapped up perfectly, but where there is money no ending can remain intact, and now Lazlo Gogolak (Pollack) has gotten out of prison to enact revenge on Jimmy for killing his son (who was also played by Pollack in the original). Of course, to get to Jimmy, the mob has to kidnap Cynthia and threaten Oz - and the chaos begins.

Oh, and what chaos it is! The Whole Ten Yards is an unintelligible piece of garbage, seemingly thrown together at the last moment without an kind of coherent sense or purpose. The jokes are dull and the characters idiotic; worst off, the plot is absolutely idiotic.

Worst is Perry's character, who plays out like Chandler on crack. More than likely Perry will never be able to get out of this kind of role, but he has to realize that unless he is in a "Friends" reunion show, it just isn't funny. Throughout most of this movie, Perry spends his time falling over and running into doors, looking like a complete moron in a very unfunny kind of way. On top of that, Willis' character has been reduced to an assassin version of Martha Stewart (they now have a common attribute, after all), as most of his jokes revolve around his love for cooking. Peet and Henstridge aren't nearly as annoying, but also are given fewer chances to do anything worthwhile. And no, Peet does not get naked in this one.

The characters aside, the plot is almost frustrating to watch, as things only come together in the last couple of minutes with little clarity or intrigue. Most of the activities that the characters perform seem to be anti-productive to their goal.

The Whole Ten Yards does have a few funny moments here and there, but for the most part is an immensely lackluster and aimless comedy with terrible characters and a stupid plot. They went one yard too far.

Review by Erik Samdahl unless otherwise indicated.