Miss March (2009) - Movie Review

There are good movies, and there are bad ones. That's a John Madden thing to say, but it's true. Miss March, sad to say, falls clearly into the latter category, and doesn't even appear to care.

Zach Cregger and Trevor Moore wrote, directed and star in this road trip movie, about a guy who fell into a coma in high school and has awoken four years later only to discover that he can no longer control his bowels, his parents have moved away and his girlfriend, once a proponent of abstinence, has become a Playboy cover girl. His best friend Tucker (played by Moore) decides to kidnap him from the hospital, travel across the country and crash a Playboy Mansion party to win her back. Antics ensue, all of which are allegedly funny.

Frankly, Cregger and Moore should have left filmmaking up to the professionals. Miss March is a clumsy, over-the-top, unfunny and forgettable teen comedy that is so silly and stupid it'll be considered incredible if you survive its painful 90-minute running time. The two get themselves into one ridiculous situation after the next, but none of them are particularly entertaining or unique. When that fails, they resort to bodily fluid jokes, but these are often more cringe-inducing than funny.

Miss March shows a complete disregard for what works and doesn't work in a movie. The story is stupid. The acting is terrible. The screenplay is awful. The movie doesn't even offer that much good sex or nudity. Once again, a cameo by Hugh Hefner is completely wasted.

The film's only saving grace is Cregger, who shows some semblance of comedic timing. As the straight arrow in the film, he provides some counterbalance to the ridiculous nature of the movie. Then again, he's like a feather staring down a bull. Moore, on the other hand, is so bad you almost want to fast forward through any scene that he's talking (which is most of them). He's loud, obnoxious and so dumb he's impossible to believe or like; in other words, he's like an unfunny, unlikable version of Ashton Kutcher.

Miss March is a bad movie. Guys thinking that they'll at least get some good sex and nudity out of the movie will be sorely disappointed to, even when watching the unrated version. There's nothing good about this movie, other than one scene where a hooker falls out of the window - and you can see that in the previews. Avoid Miss March at all costs.

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