Call it unfair to review only half of a movie. Go on, do it. I understand. But here I am telling you I only watched half of Rio 2, and that's the half I'm reviewing. Maybe it gets better in the second half. Maybe it turns into something original, or clever, or at least entertaining. Maybe it becomes something the first half isn't.

Rio 2 is the sequel to Rio, which in itself was one of the worst "franchise" animated movies of the last decade. It had its moments, but really had very little going for it. In reality, the most I remember about the first Rio was just how forgettable it was.

In the sequel, the rare parrots are now celebrities. The last of their kind, the media claims. They spend their days singing and dancing to mind-numbing song and dance numbers, which is about as fun to watch as you'd imagine (not very fun at all). When a couple of awkward scientists discover what could be more of the same birds...

Eh, who cares.

The plot doesn't matter because nothing in the film matters. Little children may enjoy the franticness of the production, the silly birds doing silly things. Lots of noise and flashing lights.

Parents. Adults. People who need something more. Rio 2 offers little stimulation.

I didn't turn off Rio 2 because it was a terribly made movie; I turned it off because I didn't care about anything that was happening in it. I was sitting on my bed, watching the movie, and realized that my time would be better spent watching something else, or sleeping, or enjoying cat videos on YouTube.

Rio 2 offers nothing of value, and unless you have kids under the age of eight and a babysitter who can watch it with your kids while you get intoxicated at a bar somewhere, you'll agree.

Review by Erik Samdahl unless otherwise indicated.