The Good Dinosaur Movie Review
And you thought Cars was bad. Pixar’s latest, The Good Dinosaur, is about a world in which the asteroid that caused dinosaurs to go extinct missed Earth entirely--sadly, the only thing that got me through most of this bland and boring tale was the hope that one of two things would happen:
- Another asteroid was going to crash and wipe out every character on screen
- An asteroid was going to crash into my home and take my neighbors and I out, once and for all
Both scenarios are more pleasurable than actually sitting through The Good Dinosaur, which is just a lazy venture for a studio known for being extremely ambitious and innovative. Sure, little, tiny, non-discriminate children may enjoy the movie, but why bother spending the money on this film when you can show them any other Pixar movie and they’ll giggle and laugh and be entertained and--guess what--you will do the same.
Or just fucking rent The Land Before Fucking Time and leave your kids in the fucking living room.
Sure, I’m speaking in hyperbole a bit--even bad Pixar movies are better than truly bad movies, right? But you know what? All those bad animated films, those ones with modern pop music and silly creatures and a lot of pop culture references but so little sophistication or purpose you’ll quickly forget about them, usually aren’t boring. They may suck, but they’re at least trying to be funny or action-packed or something.
The Good Dinosaur is about an unlikable and wimpy young dinosaur that teams up with a caveboy to make his way back home, and he encounters a variety of mildly dangerous situations that sadly fail to kill him and end the movie. While there are a few moments of cleverness, the movie is largely devoid of humor, excitement or intrigue. At least Cars had characters that Disney could turn into toys--I can’t imagine any child clamoring for a Good Dinosaur toy. They’ve been selling fucking dinosaur toys since people discovered dinosaurs, and The Good Dinosaur presents nothing new or interesting or fresh or original.
Visually, the movie looks fine, but Pixar is supposed to be the animation house that sets the bar for visual effects, for tackling new challenges presented by a challenging story. That’s why I am so pissed and annoyed at this movie, because I wasted time watching a Pixar-branded product that, had it not cost $200 million to make, should have gone straight to DVD.
An asteroid didn’t strike while I watched this movie, unfortunately, but there’s still hope that all traces of The Good Dinosaur gets wiped away in the future.
Review by Erik Samdahl unless otherwise indicated.